104. DESI GIRL IS OKAY … OR SO SHE THINKS

Jane has decided that my ache can only be healed with retail therapy (discounted of course) and a massage. Jack agrees. And they're just as upset with Reindeer as Meera and Rohit were last night. Clearly, what I lack in the boyfriend department I make up in the friends section!

Jane and I rummage through the sale section of the UES Banana Republic and I decide that I am in good emotion shape. I mean, look at me. I can function (shower, brew coffee, shop). So I can't possibly be in break-up shock.

I find a $30 brown and cream printed dress and try it on. "I think this is too low-cut," I say to Jane when I come out of the dressing room. “Sweetie you are SO buying it! You’re stunning in it!"

From the east side Jane and I race to the west side of Manhattan for our massages. Fifteen minutes into the massage I feel my faux hard shell crack and a few tears slide down my cheeks. So I try even harder to swallow the ache and remain strong so I don’t disturb the masseuse’s concentration.

But I am lying face down, so tears get stuck in my nose. When I can no longer breathe I have to sob just to get air into my lungs and clear my nose. This is when the masseuse finally asks, “Are you okay? Do you need some water?” She is so kind. “No, no. I am fine,” I reply and fib. Yeah right! I’m crying in a massage. I am the opposite of fine.

The massage ends and she brings me a box of tissues and water. “It’s okay, you’ll be okay. Massage brings the toxins to the surface. Whatever you are going through, massage will help get it out of you. And then you'll be fine."

I hope she's right. Massaging the heartache away sounds like the best idea yet. Especially since I don’t do drugs and cannot drown the little suckers of pain in alcohol!