Thursday, January 28, 2010

22. YOU TASTE LIKE CHICKEN

You Taste Like Chicken is my next date --- a good-looking financier in his late 30s from Bangalore.

He enters the French-fusion Midtown eatery attired in jeans, while I am overdressed in a brown sweater with gold beading and dress pants. We grab a table, order drinks and begin chatting. His bald head is very nicely shaped, which leads me to wonder if he is hairless by choice or if he has performed the Hindu ritual head shave to mark his father’s passing. I don’t ask. And in either event, the look suits him.

I flag down the waitress and order an appetizer. He orders nothing and I wonder if he’s not hungry or cheap. My guy friends have told me they resent paying for dinner. But I feel if a man invites you out at 7:00 pm on a Friday night (like You Taste Like Chicken has) then it is required by dating laws and social graces that the man pay! By the way, I didn’t show up in a bathrobe. And I have ten times the hair than he does so I know I primped AT LEAST twice as long AND held court with THREE of my best friends debating my clothes, handbag and shoes. I did all this because I want him to like me. So I think his willingness to buy a drink or two expresses his return interest. Yes, there are no guarantees, but shouldn’t you go into the night believing this might be “the one”?

I am so ravenous when the waitress returns with my snack that I forget he is there until he reaches for the nape of my neck to kiss me on the lips. When we draw apart, he says, “You taste like chicken.” Really? I’m sure it’s true, but what an un-sexy thing so say. Can’t he lie and say my hair smells pretty?

At the end of the date he indeed pays. However, when I reach for my coat, he says, “Wanna come back to my place?” I am pretty sure he is not inviting me over to help balance his checkbook. But a glass of wine and four chicken strips doesn’t entitle him to sex, and so I decline the offer.

I knew dating in the City, where the rate of STDs is close to 30%, was a competitive sport. But foolishly I thought Indian men were exempt. That they were gentlemen like my father and brother. That they adhered to our Hindu teachings, believing women are lakshmi, the wealth of a household. That the gods look favorably upon men who respect and revere women.

And I guess, if I am looking for a gentleman to respect me, then the groom hunt must continue.

10 comments:

mb said...

Are you kidding me? Just reaches out to kiss you like that over an appetizer? Then says you taste like chicken. I say... next! To many men out there for that! We just need to find a good one!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Truth is stranger than fiction. And yes, here is to finding "THE ONE".

starlight said...

It's time like these when one wishes one was ready with a quick retort (yes, RETORT), like, "Oh, all the roosters tell me that!" Or some other witty comment like that..

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Sadly, the retorts NEVER come that quickly ... they hit me two days later!

Raji said...

Oh my God. He want to have sex in exchange of an appetizer. Unbelievable. These indians are crazy. Most of them have STD's too.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Raji ... I have read your comment several times, the way you eloquently put it makes me laugh. And the STDs from New York to New Delhi are pretty scary!!!

Samosas for One said...

Assuming this post was written about a date that happened a long time ago, what do you think now after being in Manhattan for a few years?

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One .... if you can believe it, this is not the WORST date I have been on ... stay tuned, but yes, desi men in the city are SOOOOO disappointing and ruining it for the wonderful men in my life, who are unfor my brothers! :)

Anonymous said...

So you expect the guy to pay for your dinner because you dressed nicely? What are you, a glorified prostitute? Have some self respect and pay for yourself. We're living in the 21st century, not the Victorian era.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

LORDY! I am not living in any Victorian age. I have paid for many dates, I have gone dutch --- so scale it back .... and really the prostitute comment, not necessary. I think on a first date is nice that a man pay. It if fine if you don't.

I do lots of nice things for my bfs, I invited Reindeer over for dinner and I assure you cooking a four item Punjabi dinner is WAY more work and expression of interest than slapping your Am Ex for down for some drinks and apps.

xo,
Desi Girl