My friend Meera (from Post 21), her husband, Rohit, and I are sitting in a wine bar. I am summarizing my dating highlights, or perhaps lowlights is more accurate. Rohit nods thoughtfully and says, “I think you’re funny and upbeat. I don’t get these guys.” “Thanks,” I reply. “Hhhmm, listening to you just now, it struck me --- you might the problem,” Meera says. Rohit’s head jerks and he stares at her with incredulous eyes.
Her comment intrigues me. I realize I’m not perfect. I work at being strong in my broken places. And if there are ways for me to better myself I am open to suggestions. I also know Meera would never intentionally hurt me; I trust her unconditionally and so I say, “tell me more.”
“I agree with Rohit, you’re great. But we’re you’re friends, we already love you,” Meera says, her hands gesticulate, emphasizing her point. “And this is New York with tons of single women, and not enough men. They are the ones who get to pick and choose. So you have to treat dating like a job, with a strategy and goal: how to make them fall in love with you. Then YOU decide if YOU want them.”
Meera continues, “I read this book called How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You, and you should, too.”
Rohit laughs and quips, “And I read a book called She’s Read ‘How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You’ So Employ These Tactics to Woo Her While She Thinks She Wooing You.”
“This book could help her,” Meera argues genuinely. Rohit shakes his head. She glares at her husband. “I think she’s intimidating. She talks too fast. Her mind is equally fast paced. She’s always over-dressed, has opinions and dark manicures. It’s too much for a guy,” Meera says to him and points at my nails painted in Chanel’s Vamp.
Irritation washes across Rohit’s face and seeps down into his body. “So she should say nothing and wear sweatpants?” Rohit challenges. “I think she should be herself.”
I think they should keep talking about me like I am not sitting here.
“I didn’t say otherwise,” Meera snaps. “It has been proven that whoever talks more on a date thinks they had a better experience. And the person not doing the talking won’t have a good experience because they didn’t learn anything. My point is she should talk less, wear lighter nail polish and be soft.”
Because Rohit and I cannot argue with statistics we simply sip our drinks.
“I also think you should maximize dating opportunities,” Meera says to me.
“What do you suggest?” I ask.