Tuesday, February 16, 2010

38. SUING ALBANY

I am a creature of habit. Like clockwork I do laundry every Tuesday at 7:30 am.

“Are you a lawyer?” a woman’s voice asks.

I look up from tossing wet clothes into the dryer. It’s the Crazy Lady (Post 23) whose dogs terrorized me in the elevator. “Nope,” I reply. If I were, I should really be in court litigating not separating darks from whites.

“I need a lawyer,” Crazy Lady says. I need stuff, too. A man, a mortgage, a mini-me. Heck, why not toss in an Epi Louis Vuitton bag? And really, while we’re at it, I wouldn’t mind being a tall, slim super-model either. Okay, so some of that is more ‘want’ than ‘need’ ...

“I need to sue Albany,” she says. Against my better judgment I ask, “Why?” “I’m a substitute teacher and they fired me. Can you believe that?” This woman needed to brush her hair three days ago. Since I can smell her tuna fish breath from across the laundry room, her teeth, too. And her pants? I am fairly sure 1971 wants their bellbottoms back. While I don’t advocate home schooling, I would start rather than send my child to this wing nut. So OF COURSE I believe they fired her.

"Be careful," Crazy Lady says. "Of what?" I ask. "The Super. He doesn't like single women," she says. "What?" I ask. "My neighbor used to sell drugs and beat me up. Super did nothing. The Owner tried to kick me out. It's why I got the dogs.”

I don’t know what she is talking about. The Owner and the Super are nice to me. "They'll kick you out if they can find a better tenant,” she says. “Not until my lease expires,” I state. Doesn’t she know this is New York with tenants’ rights laws?

Just then the Super enters the laundry room and avoids her. Crazy Lady leers at me, laughs and leaves. “Stay away from her. She has animals and a dirty apartment,” the Super says. “And she’s crazy.”

Clearly.

Louis Vuitton Epi Leather Bags

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree.. You look like a lawyer.

Shalini said...

101 Bad Desi Dates, I recently was told about your blog and I have to say, it's hilarious! I can also totally relate! It's amazing how many people you end up meeting where your first thought about them is how did you make it this far in life??

I recently found two books that I really wish I had read before I went to college. It would have saved me so much heartbreak...

1) He's Just Not That Into You-I'm sure you've heard of this book and possibly seen the movie, but the movie doesn't do it justice. Definitely read the book.

2)The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman-This book allows couples to learn about each other. But what I found from reading it is enlightenment about myself. It's a great book and I recommend it for everyone, single or other. I'll caution you that it does have some Bible referencing in the book, and though I am Hindu, I still enjoyed the book (I pretty much skimmed over the religious stuff). --BTW, this book is for men and women. It's not specific for women only.

When you put these two books together, what you get is knowledge of what you definitely want and don't want in a guy. But moreover, you can learn what it is that you really need vs. just what you want. The best part about reading these books, is that when you do find your sig other, you'll have a closer relationship with each other because of your new found awareness.

I wish you all the best in your search for love...but keep in mind, that most times, it's when you stop looking for love that it finds you, because that is truly when you are ready for it.

Good Luck and Happy Hunting...
~S

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous, Indeed! Think how much better Law and Order would have been if they wore jammies and didn't bother with hairbrushes!!!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Shalini, thank you for your note! I am so pleased that it amuses you and that you can relate. I’ve had several desis, men and women, ABCD and FOB say the same thing.

And I did read He’s Not That Into You and loved it. I have not read the second book, but will look it up on amazon. I’m Hindu, too, but I am spiritual more than anything. It means a lot that you shared such wonderful thoughts.

I appreciate the encouragement.
I debated for some time about even doing this. A friend of mine warned and cautioned that family members might not like what I write and of course the men won’t either. But, it’s a story that I think needs to be shared, at the very least so we fellow desis have a support group! And if I can share some thoughts or education along the way, better yet! Because really the story isn’t about men or my family --- while else would I disguise the men and change the names of my friends and family? : )

One of my most important goals was to keep if funny, I am so happy you laugh. We should all find someone or something that makes us laugh every day! And I hear ya about finding him. Once I stopped obsessing I began to just feel better about myself. And everything in life got better!

I hope you keep reading! I deeply appreciate the shout out!