Thursday, February 18, 2010

40. TOYOTA PRIUS AND THE DESI-FASHIONISTA

Tonight I want to curl up on the couch with a book and pretend the other 8 million people in New York City don’t exist. But my phone rings. Indian Cowboy. I almost don’t answer, but my cousin’s “picky” lecture reverberates in my head.

“Hello?” I ask. “Can you hear me?” Indian Cowboy yells. The call sounds tinny, like he’s inside a Diet Coke can. I pull the phone away from my ear and reply, “Yes.” “Guess what?” he asks. “What?” I reply. “You’re above me,” he says. “Guess how!” “I don’t know,” I respond and set my book aside.

“I realize you don’t drive, but in New York we have cell phone while driving laws…” As he talks, it suddenly strikes me; his competitive pomposity and drinking are about control. Unfortunately for him, credit scores and blue laws can’t reshape my spirit to fit his ideal (subservient) female mold. God gave me a very good education and a mind and I plan to use both. “Actually, I AM familiar with New York freeways. I watch the traffic reports every morning on the news to get my bearings,” I snipe and reveal my inner geek. “I am impressed!” he says. “You should be,” I reply. This man is going to DRIIIIIIVE me to drink. “I put my head piece on and clipped the receiver to the visor to talk to you. That’s how you’re above me,” he explains.

“Uh-huh. What kind of car do you have?” I ask. “Toyota Prius,” he replies. For the love of the goddesses! The virile, country-line dancing, teetotaler folds himself into a teeny tiny electric car? Every conversation we have is more ridiculous than the previous. So I say, “I CANNOT be seen in that. It won’t match my outfit…EVER!” To his credit he roars and cannot stop laughing, which is not good. He is driving. Then poof! No cell phone tower for you! And the line goes dead.

In the silence I feel certain the dropped call is a sign from Durga, a reminder to trust my instincts. And so I do. While I want to get married, it won’t be with a caricature of a desi man!

Toyota Prius

10 comments:

Nancy said...

Always trust your instincts! Whenever we, as women, don't, it bites us in the ass.

Nancy said...

BYW, I have enjoyed reading your blog very much. I don't need to say "keep your chin up" cuz I know you are already doing that. It'll happen when its supposed to happen.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Nancy ... I whole heartedly agree. It is ALL the times I doubt myself that I end up in a muck of a mess. Oftne I wish I could round up all of my mistakes and misdeeds and parcel them into a book and give it to every vibrant 17 year old woman I meeet and say "read and heed". But sadly, making the magnificent messes is how we learn. ARGH!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Nancy .... my chin is up! thanks for your wisdom. but more importantly thanks for your support! it will happen, I think I just need a little help from my friends sometimes ... so thanks FRIEND! xxoo me

Anonymous said...

Toyota Prius- What else can you expect from a desi?- toyota, honda or nissan. Is there more to come on this cowboy?

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous ... yes, when it comes to desis and cars you are correct! I have a little joke about that from Post 1 - What If? ... "...hoping his Honda (driven for fuel efficiency) or Mercedes (driven for status) ..." I myself, like Audis and Jags (yes I know Jags are dreadful cars, can’t help it have loved them forever). Of course, as long as I live in Manhattan the subway is just fine for me! And no, no more from the Cowboy --- I need to be someone who is fine with me as I am, eating meat, drinking wine, wearing shoes that hurt my feet :)

Anonymous said...

Do you think this guy is a virgin ?

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous ... I don't know if he was / is gay!!! While I never wondered about him, I did find his use of "I am virile" was odd. It is like those guys who tell you they are great lovers. People who really are great never need to tell you, you'll find out :).

Heather said...

ha- blue laws can't stop me, either! When are we going to put those blue laws aside and have a drink or 4??

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Heather ... we kind of have blue laws in the Tri-State. Garden State Plaza Mall is closed on Sundays! And I think my 4 drink days are over!