Wednesday, February 24, 2010


To his credit, Stutter Much has selected a nice Upper West Side brunch spot. To my dismay, the MTA is yet again doing track work north of 168th Street. This means I have to shuttle bus it to 168th Street for the local train, adding 20 minutes to my commute. Oh…did I mention? It’s pouring rain outside. Yippee, flat hair.

Stutter Much is already seated when I arrive and we engage in polite, unexciting conversation. This is refreshing given my history with sex freaks and the emotionally challenged. After lunch the rain tapers off and we walk around a misty Central Park. This is when I first notice Stutter Much’s occasional pause in speech. We leave the park and go for lattes, allowing us to chat some more. I pay careful attention, but don’t hear the stutter. He offers to drive me home and I accept. I’m not getting the stalker-slasher vibe from him. Once in the car Stutter Much gives me a gift bag filled with perfumed soaps, lotions, candles and scents. While company swag is always divine, he clearly put some thought into this. S’nice.

A few days later we’re chatting on the phone and again I notice breaks in the dialogue. Hhhmm. Now I need confirmation about the speech impediment and agree to a second date where we sip margaritas and eat chips in Chelsea. Normally this is my idea of culinary bliss; I have yet to meet a tortilla chip I didn’t like. But the conversation is excruciating. When he stutters I can literally see the words move from his mind, catch in the back of his head for a few seconds and then finally come to his lips. I fight the urge to tap the back of his head like a ketchup bottle to get the words out. That can’t be good, right?

What makes this more awful is that he’s a really *nice* guy. I just can’t date him. And it’s not due to the Indian fascination of arranging fixed girls to boys without flaws (some matchmakers consider a speech impediment a defect). The problem is my mind races faster than my mouth, if that’s even possible. I fear in time, this loud, fast-talking desi girl is going to lose her mind “conversing” with a quiet boy permanently on stall.

But I sure do enjoy the candles and perfumes! Ooo la la!


Anonymous said...

This guy looks like a real gentle man. He first of all picks up a good restaurant,pays for it, then gives a ride and some great gifts. What else a gal can ask for on the first date.

Was he had a bad speech impairment or may be was little nervous to begin with.........

But overall too bad this happened with a good guy!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous ... he was a REALLY nice guy. And no, he wasn't nervous, it was a speech thing. I do really think him being quiet and reserved, and me fast talking and loud, would not have worked out in the long run anyway. Destiny is what it is and everything happens for a reason.

Anonymous said...

He is a nice guy but he you dont want to date him ? Was the guy physically attractive? This date is quite revealing.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous ... yes he is cute. And it was not simply because he stuttered, and I am sure I must sound shallow or vain. That really is not the case, because looks are the least important thing in a man I seek. I mean physical attraction is desired, but he doesn't need to be "hot" ... does that make sense? I think he found me frustrating too, because I was really chatty and talked alot. I cannot explain, but I don't think he really liked my style either, does that make sense?

Anonymous said...

But 101 Bad Desi Dates..that is his decision. You are putting yourself out there..but at the same time dont decide for him, unless he clearly expressed that emotion.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous ... you are right. I should not make broad stroke decisions.

Actually when I think about how I got here, about the dates and relationships, I see my missteps, but you have to make the mistakes to see the light, and trust me I have made horrible choices and missteps.

I am also seeing how my baggage from past relationships and missteps are affecting me in the here in now. Being cheated on still lingers, even tho "I am over losing the Ex" in the sense that I don't wish him ill-will or harbor hate, it still messes with me.

Thanks for your comments! I enjoy this exchange, I hope you keep reading and writing!