Thursday, March 4, 2010


In addition to visiting the Ganesh Temple in Flushing and eating at an unimpressive Indian restaurant in Jackson Heights, Mom wants to shop at the world’s largest Macy’s. I have not been there since my Meet Me At Macy’s Date (Post 43). But last night we went to a Kiran Desai book reading and I told Mom someday I want to be published and accomplished like Kiran. Mom said, “If you put your mind to something it will happen.” So I will endure the nightmare of Herald Square for her.

In three hours we load up on purses, bathrobes, pajamas and shoes. We’re on the final stretch, somewhere between men’s casual clothes and the door, when I experience unexplainable terror. One minute I’m talking to Mom and the next, she’s poof, gone! Repeatedly I call out for her and presume this is what parents feel when they momentarily lose their child, giving me insight into what I did to Mom. One day she needed thread and we went to Woolworth’s. I was about five, got bored and took a nap under a rack of tee-shirts. Eventually Mom found me but I received a major shouting. Now I realize it was out of fear not anger.

Thank goodness she appears after a few seconds. Though I feel relief, I do what she did, and yell. “What are you doing? You don’t carry a cell phone and get confused with directions. You need to follow me or you’ll get lost. Then how will you get back to the apartment?” My “NYC IS NOT SAFE” lecture loses some of its effect because we’re standing next to a display of Ralph Lauren sweatshirts and three male employees in black suits, who are spritzing cologne, stop and stare at us.

Mom apologizes over and over. I know I must seem like a terrible person for yelling at her. But she only drives within a three-mile radius of our house and never on the freeways. Minneapolis is a kind city where people stop and help change tires. Based on the bums I see in every neighborhood, New York has broken many a man and woman.

Then I threaten to get one of those leashes I see parents affixing to their kids in malls. This is when Mom yells at me in Hindi, realigning our power structure. In silence we walk back to the subway and board the A train. After we’re seated I offer a peace offering, “If you get lost again, I’m getting a kiddie leash.” She tries not to laugh and sternly says, “It won’t happen again.”

We’ll see. I have been her daughter long enough to expect the unexpected.


Samosas for One said...

One time when my mom was visiting NYC she was one step behind me to catch the train and the doors literally closed in between us--me inside the train and her outside. So I got off at the next stop and waited for the next train which I assumed she would be on. The next train comes and as it goes by I see my mom in the first car at the beginning and I end up having to get on at the very last car. So I spend the next many stops making my way from the last car to the first where she is sitting. When I open the last door between cars and she catches sight of me I sit down and we just start laughing. Never again man. I always make sure now she is in front of me so she never gets left behind.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One ... LOL! So glad that it is NOT my mom and me who have experienced NYC separation woes! I am amused at the image of you hopping from train car to the next! I hear ya on the "never again". My mom is hear right now and I spend most of the time shoving her thru the turnstile :)

Samosas for One said...

That is so cute! Sometimes I wonder how my mom who like yours weighed less than 100 pounds before she had me ever carried me around in her tiny body.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One .. I know these micro desi moms are amazing! I think about that all the time. How did she adjust, raise babies, stay married, tie her saris, cook her dals and dig her car out from 12 feet of snow! Man that immigrant generation is something else!

p.s. I like how I wrote the wrong "hear" instead of "here" aiy blogging without coffee not recommended!I am sure my parents are thrilled to know they spent all that money on my education :) LOL!

Samosas for One said...

I know. Our moms are such amazing creatures. And since I'm sick and missing my mom and since your mom is here...I'm sending you this sappy ass clip I posted once on my blog from Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham. I love how every time SRK is within vicinity his mom can sense it.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One ... 3KG ROCKS! It took me two nights to watch it and I sobbed through both sittings. Go Big B, SRK, ... what a GREAT cast. The tag line for the movie is "it is about loving your parents" ... aiy oh! what could be more Bollywood drama?! :) I need to watch this again once I buy some Kleenex in a super sized box!

What are you sick with?

Samosas for One said...

From playing with my two cute adorable 22-month-old twin nieces who were sick. Never matter how wonderful they are.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One ... oh they SOUND adorable and germy :) and I understand completely. From post 30, which happned about 3 years ago, I too have a niece (she's almost 2.5 years old) and man is she something else. Her parents are SO laid back and she is like a little energizer bunny!