Thursday, April 8, 2010

76. BOOM BOOM WITH THE DESI BANKER

On the Fourth of July I sit on the couch and chat with desi Banker finalizing our outing. When I look across the alleyway, a naked woman with ginormous breasts that flap against her three rolls of stomach leans out the window and beats her rug against the building. Wow, if that is not against the law, it should be.

When I get to the East Side Starbucks desi Banker is drinking HOT coffee on an even HOTTER day. He wears khaki pants, a grey tee-shirt and a pink, yes pink, polo shirt. Sure, Indian men have the coloring for pink and lilac. And the Banker does have a very well polished, metrosexual look about him, but pink?

We pop into Central Park and make the mistake of walking down Fifth Avenue. We then spend 10 minutes trying to move three blocks but we get stuck between tourists who insist on walking four people wide down the sidewalk (by the New Yorkers hate this). No wait, New Yorkers hate it when you suddenly stop in front of Tiffany’s and Bergdorf’s. At 53rd Street we make a worse choice by cutting west to Broadway and into the middle of Times Square, where we are manhandled by throngs of clueless Europeans.

“I ran on the treadmill for two hours. I am so fat. I really need to lose seven pounds,” he declares and pats his stomach. I am wondering if he saw the naked woman this morning too, because his brain is fried if he thinks he is fat. Or maybe he has issues. If so, this makes me like him more. I don’t like men who are too perfect.

We find our way to the Upper West and side and settle on a quaint café for cake and coffee. The air has gotten heavy and I worry that it will rain by the time the fireworks start. Two gay men walk by and desi Banker says, “people think I am gay.” Since I don’t know what the correct reply is, I just keep eating cake. I have actually wondered once or twice if he is gay. I mean, one billion desis --- someone has to be gay!

From the café we return to the East Side and have dinner at Mee Noodle Shop. If you haven’t been there, go! If you come to New York, go! Hell, I’ll take you! Not only is the food SOOO good, it is cheap. Their tag line is, “Eat your body weight for $10”. And they aren’t kidding. Sidebar: for someone who thinks he is fat, desi Banker sure is eating lots of fattening calories!!!

Finally, dusk settles and we fight our way back to the FDR. When it starts raining, I think of Reindeer. While I like desi Banker, I don’t feel that spark that makes me feel flirtatious and giddy at the same time.

Hhhmm. So the rain is not the most unfortunate part of the evening. The clouds are so close to the ground that when the Macy’s fireworks go off they can’t penetrate the clouds and leave a messy smoke in the air that I swear will give me cancer.

After 45 minutes of ooh-ing and ahh-ing, we shake hands and go our separate ways. Since I got no reading off of desi Banker, I have no idea if I will ever see him again.

7 comments:

Peg said...

There is no way a pink polo wearing guy fixated on his own flab is hetero, not that there is anything wrong with that. I'm sure he would be a great friend though ;)
I am one of those poeple who skip to the end of the book to find out what happens. How did everything turn out? Tweet me!
By the way, great visuals - LOL

Ladoo said...

When he said that people think he is gay.......that means he might be gay but he is still in the process of confirming it. Who in the right mind will say these kind of things on a date. Definately he is not accepting the truth.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Peg ... I know right? And remember he said "he'd love to get together" ... also suspicious. And of course I can tell you how it turns out ... dont you want to read it tho ;) It's up to you my dear! LOL too you're immediate turning to the end. I resist the end and LOVE it when I am stunned. Not many books do that. My Sister's Keeper. SO GOOD!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Peg ... PS thanks! I am totally adding images from your request. I also like how it breaks the page up! you go girl!!!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Ladoo ... I know it! I dont know who says that on a date no less. Or whatever that was.

Wendy said...

I have to agree with Peg on the images - love the feel it adds to the pages!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Wendy! I agree with you and Peg and there is SO much I want to add and do, but alas not enough hours, so I am totally working on breaking up the text with images without it being too much! More soon! Love the comments keep them coming!