Sunday, May 16, 2010


It has been EIGHT days since I spoke to Reindeer. He hasn’t acknowledged my birthday wishes from two days ago, either. I mean, really, what nerve! He’s a consultant not a doctor saving children from malnutrition in Calcutta.

Not only is dating someone who doesn’t call back a nightmare, it’s hurting my feelings. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve contended with rejection. It’s just that I really thought Reindeer was the one. And if he freaked out at my suggestion of “integrate our lives” (Post 100) , it’s fine. I can’t undo the past. If he’s gay, that’s fine too. But if Reindeer wants to break up, he has to say it to my face or the very least, to my ears.

And I know, I know. Men would rather scale Mount Everest without gloves and endure frost-bite than tell a woman they are no longer interested. But sorry, ignoring Desi Girl is unacceptable. Reindeer will have to use his big boy words because I want closure. And I am gonna get it.

I reach for my phone and send Reindeer a text message. Then I wander around the apartment for a few minutes but the walls are closing in on me. I flop onto my bed and reach for Frances, my faithful teddy bear of a companion since 1984. What I don’t understand is how Reindeer just stopped talking to me. It’s like he can turn his feelings on and off like a faucet. And I regret falling for him when all he did was waste my time and emotion.

I curl my body into a ball. It takes a few seconds before the sobs rock my body. This heartache hurts so much. Is it like weight loss. It’s harder to control as I get older. I don't even care that my eyes will swell to three times their normal size. I just want to cry.


Debbie said...

Bastard - and you wonder why i'm gay. chicks would never do that, rather they'd overanalyze, drag you to therapists, support groups and breakout sessions for couples therapy. wait, on second thought, i'm not sure which one is worse.

Samosas for One said...

Reading this broke my heart a little. I'm glad to know that this experience was a few years in your past and is not currently taking place.

Debbie's comment made me laugh.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Debbie ... your comment was heartwarming and funny. I appreciate the bastard comment!

You are right girls don't ignore a man/woman when they freak out or whatever Reindeer did. Me personally, I'd rather go to a support group than dump myself bc dumbo-head couldn't use his big boy words!!!! :)

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One ... Agreed. Debbie's comment is funny! And thanks, it was a tough time and "was" being the operative word because it is not currently happening! Thank God! Every expereince shapes us, makes us stronger, helps us stick up for ourselves. And in time it will help make life a journey worth exploring! Here is to the next adventure bc you more are coming :)