Sunday, May 30, 2010


Every man and woman is beautiful. God would not create us any other way. This is why I truly believe we all have a soul mate. For some, like me, it just takes time to find him.

However, as I surf the matrimonial site I am wondering what God’s plan is for the men whose dreadful photo-less profiles I find today. It may sound superficial, but I do need to know BEFORE we meet if you have a handlebar mustache like the Air India mascot or if you think Levis corduroys circa 1984 are fashionable. And when you write things like, “I'm excited to meet/see you." Or, "I love women”, you do not entice me. You scare me off in the manner of a dirty old uncle who lecherously stares at my boobs.

What I find even MORE surprising is that these men are INSANELY well-educated with Indian undergraduate degrees and American MBAs that land them PRESTIGIOUS jobs at Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan and Deloitte, yet their profiles do not remotely resemble eloquence. Don’t believe me? Read the following excerpts …

Man One: I'm intelligent, computer graduate working in sales for an MNC. --- that is ALL he wrote, nothing about hobbies, interests, sports or ANYTHING! What would my response be? I, too, am intelligent and have a job, wanna get married?
Man Two: Moderate, well balanced, Consultant, with clean habits. --- for the non-desis clean habits = no meat, booze, smokes --- that is my whole life --- pass!
Man Three:…looking for professional partner to care for family and house. Also my parents live with me during summer. I expect my wife to look after my parents. They come from traditional background, but are open minded. --- how open-minded can these people be if they expect a woman to work, cook, clean, and care for elders? This sounds like a desi oxy-moron or a really bad Bollywood movie.
Man Four: (a mother posted this profile her for her almost 40 year son): The right choice of girl is 27 - 31 with good moral values and respect for parents, a university grad as well as being able to navigate herself in the kitchen. Lighter skin, slim built, over 5ft tall. --- WOW! Even Nur Jahan didn't wait on her Muslim Emperor Jahangir back in Mughal India. This guy and his mother need to join us in this century. Or consider buying a robot.

As I log off the computer it strikes me, I could help these men in a few simple steps. First I’d upload their photos. Next I’d ghost-write their profiles to include full sentences. And finally (do not under-estimate the power of new threads and shiny shoes) I’d offer fashion tutorials where the acid washed jeans and Velcro sneakers are replaced with charcoal dress pants and loafers. This way we’d all be a little closer to finding THE ONE. Because, let’s be honest, love is about attraction, which makes it a little shallow.

No comments: