Wednesday, June 2, 2010

115. DON’T BE SCARED

I’m chatting with Don’t-be-Scared. He’s one year younger than me, Punjabi, works on Wall Street in Oil Gas and has a voice that is verbal deliciousness! And he’s GORGEOUS in that “too-cool-for-you” desi manner. He strikes me as the type of man who only dates the really, thin, coiffed, manicured, prissy desi girls. But he seems really interested in me, which is great because I used to be really overweight and I sometimes I still see myself as chubby and unattractive.

We decide to meet the same night as the Rockefeller Christmas Tree lighting. Bad idea. So we venture further east and end up at the Midtown East W. He orders a wine for him and club soda for me. He, too like Dr. Comb-Over  (Post 114) asks why I am not drinking. And again I say because my personal trainer encouraged me to cut out alcohol. And no joke I have not been this thin or fit in 15 years.

“So, how long have you been on the matrimonial site?” I ask. “About 11 months,” he replies. I nod and reply, “Me too.” “My goal was to meet someone this year and get married,” Don’t-be-Scared shares. There are roughly 6 weeks left in 2007 so he doesn’t have much time, which leads me to ask, “What is your success rate at meeting women you like?” “It’s okay. But sometimes I run into someone I dated and it’s awkward.” “Why?” I ask. “Well it’s disconcerting when they’re into me and I’m not into them. And then they act weird.” He is either conceited or a serial crazy dater. “How mad can a woman get after two dates? Because, really, only crazy people invest that quickly,” I ask. He agrees and laughs.

A strange look flashes across his face which prompts me to suddenly ask, “How many women have you dated this year?” He sets his drink on the table and looks me straight in the eye and says, “I don’t want you to be scared...” DANGER! “A lot,” he says. “How many?” I ask. “Well, you make 73.”

Where does he have all that time? To arrange two dates a week means he had to spend at least two hours emailing or chatting per woman before each date. And how is he keeping our names straight? Ugh, he must be the worst kind of desi, a player who want me to know he’s a player! Or he is REALLY picky and no woman will ever be good enough for him. Either way, I remind myself that people tell you who they, you have to be paying attention ... and clearly this is a man who says he wants to settle down, but doesn't, which is okay … because I say ... NEXT …

10 comments:

Samosas for One said...

Where do you meet these people?! Ok clearly you said where...but it is amazing the ways people show you who they are...but good too so you don't waste time.

Peg said...

Umm, I know this is off-theme, but it sounds to me that Desi men are not prepared for strong Desi women, such as yourself. I see you paired with a non-Desi man. Thoughts?

Anonymous said...

I find hot men are like hot women. No substance. And in reading the blog you are substance. Don't settle. - Susan

starlight said...

I have to go with Peg on this one. Think - and date - outside the Desi box. It may be time, girlfriend! You're way cute and very, very funny, and not to mention hot! But, keep these date blogs coming. They're hilarious. And, makes me so glad I'm not out there!!!! It's kind of reverse schadenfreude, isn't it? -:)

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Starlight, Peg and Anonymous ... my sister-in-law said the same thing "what are you doing dating desi?" You will have to keep reading to see how the story ends but in the interim I appreciate your kind words and accolades! I shall keep is coming American desi style!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm bit behind in reading... But my 2 cents. I feel bad for guys (and gals) like Don't Be Scared. Because they don't even realize that they're not ready to settle down or recognize their own limitations. I 2nd and 3rd other comments made, but I've been saying this SINCE 2007! I think limiting to Desi Men is DANGEROUS!!! I know atleast one particular non-Desi man (and yours truly of course, but just to give you a male perspective) who thinks you're too awesome to limit to Desi Men. And likely more compatible with non-Desi male perspective. And I say "perspective" because I do think there are Desi men out there with non-Desi perspectives and ways of living... the answer i DO NOT have is to the question "But do these uniquely created Desi men treat Desi women the same? Or do their perspectives on life suddenly change when they deal with other Desis"?

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonyous ... I hear ya, I felt sad for him too. When you go on that many dates I cannot imagine what a person (male or female) is looking for. I mean like there isn't anyone remotely appealing?

And thanks! I know, I just think it is hard to go against the grain. And it wasn't like I was opposed to an Indian guy bc when I lived in MN a had some non-desi boyfriends and we had some religious differences. But I think it is a matter of finding someone who is open and fluid like I am regardless of ethnicity or religion, those man made things that limit the possibilities and options of life!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Susan ... thanks for your comment and wishes! And I am with you, if all you do is depend on your looks, that shallowness is so hollow and sad!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Peg ... I really think having normal positive males in my life and my father insisting that Punjabis are the best really has worked against me. Because I dont find high quality men, as in the caliber of my brother, my relatives, my desi man friends like the Banker or Rohit, out there in life. So perhaps desi girl can't be down with brown!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One ... yes agreed. Thank GOD he revealed his stripes early on. We departed and I was like "ew" ...