When Bill and Naveen FINALLY arrive, they do so in installments. Bill arrives first, orders a drink, and calls Naveen for his estimated time of arrival. Ten minutes later Naveen strides in and shoot a pickle! At the 6’-4” he is tall! He’s no Yao Ming, but Naveen could quite possibly be the tallest Indian man I have ever met. And God in heaven, he is outrageously handsome with thick straight hair piled on his head, wide nose and broad, sturdy, physically fit frame. He is 100% prime desi man, cut me off a piece of that! I might even want a second helping!
For some reason I've never imagined that I’d end up with someone GORGEOUS. Looks aren’t really important to me and sometimes the pretty boys are annoyingly stupid. Also, the pandits regularly tell me I won’t marry someone attractive. Fine by me, I am SOOOO okay with being the cute one! I do wonder if Naveen is good in bed.
Because Jane and I are starving, we insist (nicely) on leaving and opting for a place where we don’t have to scream to be heard. Bill and Naveen agree and the four of us walk north and find an Italian place somewhere between the Village and Meatpacking district.
Dinner conversation is light. As typical Americans, we talk about work. At some point Naveen mentions his sister and niece. “How did your sister meet her husband?” Jane asks Naveen. “Work. He’s Jewish,” Naveen explains. Desi parents make it clear that they want their desi kids to bring home desi spouses. And desi parents are not shy about this demand. I think over time we desi kids, especially first generation Americans, feel we must explain when our sibling or we fail to bring brown home. Even if we think are modern, and a nice blend of East-meets-West, we’re god-fearing Hindus who were taught to believe women are the custodians of the faith. When women enter foreign marriages or divorce, children became lawless and Indian society breaks down.
I take issue with the way Hinduism shames women more than the men for loving non-desis. Because sometimes I don’t think I am destined to marry desi and why should I feel bad that I cannot control my out of control stars.
To be cont.