202. RETURN OF DESI GIRL’S MOM

The return of my mother is an exciting and stressful time. It’s exciting because Mom is more than one of my parental units. She is one of my most favorite people and as I have gotten older, she has become more of a friend and less of a disciplinarian. When we lived in the same city, I took it for granted that I could see her whenever I wanted. Now that there is a mountain range and time zone separating us, obstacles I put into place, I want to selfishly monopolize her time, which I will do. Mother’s Day brunch and shopping are on our list of things to do. It pleases me deeply that Mom wants to spend her special day with me instead of with her husband and her son! Ha! Take that patriarchic India, who says the daughter doesn’t also rise?

Mom also tends to be popular and somewhat of a celebrity around my friends. She’s here for eight days and already has dinner plans with Jack and Jane for sushi and sake in an hour. Don’t worry, no sushi or sake for Mom, she will have chicken udon noodles. Tomorrow we are going to Connecticut to visit my cousin and then next weekend Meera and Rohit are coming over for an authentic Punjabi dinner. And she just got here yesterday!

What is making our time together stressful is not the over-programming. Being busier than a jack-rabbit on speed is second nature for me. It is the non-stop desi dating phone calls and emails that keep coming. While Mom and I were on the subway earlier today, I missed a call from Dr. Froggy. I contacted him during my “going against what I normally do phase”. In his voicemail he said, more like mumbled, that he was interested in getting to know me and I should call him back. As far as voices go, his was okay. He was born and raised in the States, so I expected his accent to be American. But his tone lacked inflection and energy. 

“I’m going to do my puja,” Mom says. My mother is an extremely devout and pious Hindu woman who regularly reads her religious books morning and night. What I appreciate about her and her faith is that she never imposed it on my brother, father or me. Sure, sometimes Dad’s lack of faith bothers her, but she says we are all on our karmic path. And she seems to accept that her children are luke warm Hindus who grew up temple-less in Minnesota.

I pad back into the bedroom and log on to my computer. Broke Back from Upstate New York (Post 194)  has emailed wanting to confirm our meeting tomorrow. He is set to arrive into the City around 4:00 pm. I pen back a note and suggest a little French bistro near Grand Central Station. He writes back immediately and is agreeable. I log off the computer and flop onto the bed. I need a 45 minute disco nap before dinner.

Grand Central Station

Unfortunately my mind is spinning with thoughts of tomorrow, which is surely going to be a long day. Mom and I have to get up at the crack of dawn, shower, dress and then commute an hour to Grand Central Station so we can take a 45 minute train ride on Metro North to Connecticut. We then have to leave by 3:30 pm so I can stow my mother somewhere in Grand Central while I meet Broke Back.

I feel REALLY bad that she has to sit alone in the train station for an hour or two, but she has repeatedly told me she doesn’t mind. Probably because she just wants me to get married! But she doesn’t have a cell phone and this stresses me out. Just as I feel a little bit of sleep washing over me, the phone rings.

Haphazardly I glance at it and don’t recognize the number and let it go to voicemail. When the phone beeps to receiving the voicemail I check it. It's Dr. Froggy, again, saying he's interested in talking to me and he’ll call back. Okay, but he just called two hours ago. And why, why, why when men call and call they are considered persistent, but when women engage in the EXACT same behavior, they are unstable or nuts? Is it NOT the same action? I sure think so! And does Dr. Froggy think I have nothing else to do but answer his call? He will just have to wait his turn!