The next morning I scamper around getting ready for work, watching the Today show, and wondering which pair of shoes to wear. Before going into the office I stop for a $4 coffee. With NPR on the radio, I merge into the morning traffic and remember why I don’t like driving --- not-so-Minnesota-nice people who tailgate and won’t share the road. The car heats up under the June sun and I switch on the air conditioning only to find, it’s not working. Nice, now I’m going spend the next three miles sweating like a farm animal in my silk dress.
I’m the first one in the office and sit down to check email. This is when I remember the text message and check my phone. Well I will be damned, it’s from Town and Country, who writes, “How have you been?” OMG!!! I SOOO don’t believe this. I have always fantasized (again because I watch WAY too many Bollywood movies and soap operas) that a man who had dissed me would regain his senses and say, “Desi Girl, my bad! I realize now that I cannot live without you, I will devote my entire life to you, if you just take me back.” Now, do not think for one moment I actually think a straight man would say such melodramatic things to me; this is just my wild and vivid imagination.
Text from Desi Girl: I am great! How about you? What have you been up to?
Text from Town and Country: Very busy with work. Traveling this week and next. What about you?
Text from Desi Girl: (Hhhmm. It’s always work with him). I can’t complain. In MN with family. Back in NY next week.
When his next text comes in, the metaphorical train comes to a grinding metal on metal halt and crashes inside my head, because he writes: Wanna get together when we’re both back?
I’m suspicious. He doesn’t speak to me for months and out of the clear blue he returns. And while men don’t proclaim their undying love for me in real life, they don’t reach out because they’re bored and have time to kill. And definitely not Town and Country. He’s a very busy and serious businessman, with an impressive reputation. Still, his outreach cues silly Bollywood scenes in my head where I dance across smooth flat rocks, ducking between trees and dense foliage, while he of course chases me. In my voice of a nightingale, I sing how I cannot live without him. He sings back, that the shape of my face haunts him and the light of my bindi blinds him.
Text from Desi Girl: Sure, let me know when you are back and we can get together.
Text from Town and Country: Great. I am excited to see you. Been thinking about it but held off on contact.
Since I am blogging about a conversation I had with Town and Country in June 2008, I can tell you, that this was one of several moments I should have dropped the phone and run. Now that I have history on my side, I see how I misread his interest. But back then I was a lonely woman in a huge city who wanted to be loved. Because I let myself believe destiny was realigning itself, I wrote back: Great! Looking forward to seeing you too.
Even though I knew better than to throw myself under the bus, I didn’t stop or care. I just wanted a boy to love me.