Tuesday, December 28, 2010

264. PRICELESS: 10,000 MILES, 12 TIMES ZONES AND A HUGE OCEAN SEPARATES ME FROM THEM

I cannot believe how exhausted I am and I don’t even leave for New Delhi until tomorrow. This trip has been a long time coming and I fully expect the next 16 days abroad to be hell on wheels desi style. I have some interesting (this is me being Minnesota nice) paternal relatives, most of whom I tolerate, mostly because they make no effort to “get me”, yet they expect that I “get them”. You have no idea how optimal it is to have 10,000 miles, 12 times zones and a HUGE ocean separating me from them.

And unfortunately, Dad’s side of the family has some uneducated folks in it --- uncles with 8th grade educations and aunts with no teeth (well, actually I think she had them fixed). So I am sure an urban, American (female) singleton meets village-minded Punjabis is going to be quite the explosive set-up. 

Meeting the pandit is distressing me too. A lot of work has gone into arranging this marriage puja to avenge my stars and bring them back into matrimonially friendly skies. I won't lie, sometimes I just wish the pandits would say, "Desi Girl did something really back in her past life and her burden to bear in this one is no husband". I can handle the truth, whatever it is, just put me out of my misery, and more importantly, put Mom out of her misery. If I am going to be a spinster, fine, say it and let's get a final word on destiny and move on. Then I could stop wondering if I could learn to share my bathroom with another person.

I crack open a Diet Coke and grab my phone. Dr. Froggy knows I leave for India tomorrow and he hasn’t wished me a Bon Voyage. I’m going to half way around the world to a country where the plague still break outs, doesn’t he want to wish me well? Because I want him to wish me well! “Hello?” he says. I hear the noise of a sports bar in the background. “Hey, what are you doing?” I ask. “I’m watching the hockey game with some buddies. What are you doing?” he asks. “I just finished packing,” I reply. “Oh, okay, can I call you back? Or tomorrow? I can barely hear you,” he says. “Uhm, sure,” I reply.

I almost explain that I am going to bed soon and a car is picking me up mid-morning because for some reason I thought the non-stop 16-hour Continental flight from Newark to New Delhi sounded like a good idea. But I don’t share this with him. I am so tired that I have to sleep, now! And so I do.

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