Monday, January 31, 2011

288. DESI GIRL’S FINAL HOURS IN DELHI – PART ONE

I’m sipping my morning tea and sitting on Massi’s bed with the phone tucked under my chin. “Come to Dwarka by 7 pm,” Dad says. “Then we can leave for the airport together.” Dad and I are both returning to the US tonight. Our flights, his to Minnesota and mine to New York, are within an hour of each other. “I don’t know how to get to Dwarka,” I say. “Simple. Tell the driver to head towards to the Domestic Airline Terminal, just before the airport, there is a roundabout, take that and exit for the Dwarka Flyover..."

Oh. My. God. I have an international flight that I have to be on. Not because I have a ticket and re-ticketing in India is a total nightmare. But because I have to get the hell out of this country. Yes, I love Massi. I already miss her and I’m not gone yet. I love my roots and being a part of this quirky family (both sides). But my home is not here. Just like I didn’t belong in Minnesota, I don’t belong in India. And if I get stuck here I will lose my shit.

"Dad, this is not a good idea. There is construction all over Delhi, and in the dark I am not directing a driver who barely speaks English to Dwarka! They don’t believe in using street lights or signage in this country and if we get lost….I need to go home…Today….” I counter, my voice shakes a little. Luck has eluded me lately and I just can’t risk roaming around Delhi four hours before my flight because Dad is having a high maintenance moment. I am not selfless like Mom. I am not catering to every idea and whim he has.

Massi stands by my side and listens. We have only a few hours left and she doesn’t want me to leave until I absolutely must. “Where will we meet? The airport is very big,” Dad says, he sounds a little stressed that I don’t find his idea agreeable. And I don’t understand what is going on with him.

For the last two weeks I have been running around a super sized desi City. I live in a gigantic American city. He is flying KLM and I am going Continental --- I think between the help of their ground staff and public announcement system we’ll be fine. “Dad, I will find you,” I insist. “I want to sit in the lounge before we go,” Dad explains. “Dad! Don’t worry, we will meet, go through customs and sit in the lounge. See you tonight. Love you!” I say and hang up.

Massi shakes her head. You would think I am the parent, not Dad. I take her hand and lead her back to the dining room and so we can have our last breakfast together.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate the last moments before leaving India. The time when you don't want to leave loving relatives & head back to your lonely reality & stresses back home. These are times I am kind of glad that the flights are long, since it gives me enough time to come to terms with the sudden loneliness & may be meet interesting people along the way.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

What an incredibly profound thing to share - you are right, so right about not wanting to leave the warmth of crazy busy family for the cold reality of quiet loneliness.

I have never thought of the flight as a way to emotionally detox, I shd, you bring up an excellent point.

xo,
Desi Girl

Anonymous said...

why is your dad so high maintenance? Can't he figure out that the international flights are scary if you miss them specially in India.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous Two -

LOL - I know it! So glad that you think so - I dont know why he is so high maintenance, I mean he really is higher maintenance than me! Tee hee!!!

And goodness - this means I would have to wait until the next day for the flight. It is not like Continental flies from Delhi to Newark hourly!!!

xo,
DG

Anonymous said...

High maintenance is always bad for any relationship. The other persons life is screwed because one has to be highly maintained, while the other suffers. I have seen many bad divorces or not at all getting married due to this. Low maintenance is the key for any good relationship- father, mother, daughter, brother,sister husband, wife, any good relationship.

I am always scared while leaving India, I just can't imagine if I get stuck for one more extra day. 1 month vacation is far than enough.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

You are SOOOO right on the money about high maintenance. You are right though - some the best relationships I have are low maintenance, with my mother, with brother.

Shoot yea - getting stuck there is stressful!

xo
DG

Anonymous said...

Are you high maintenance too? If yes, my advice is to be as low maintenance as possible, boys will start liking you instead of repelling you and you don't have to do much effort into the relationship to work. It will work miraculously.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

I am medium maintenance. I have gone on trips with friends and am totally go with the flow and if there is something I want to see or a place where want to eat and no one else wants to - I go alone. No biggie.

I am low emotional maintenance. I dont need people telling me how much they like me or how fabu this was or that was that I did. I believe in doing a good job and striving for excellence. I think I thought I was a perfectionist for a while but you cannot achieve perfection in an imperfect world :) --- so boldly excelling is what I go for! I have friends who yell at me for not accepting compliments. Perhaps this is something I shd work on!

I used to get gel manicures - but stopped be they were high maintenance and I didn't really LOVE them but had been doing them for so long that it seemed abnormal to stop. Now that I have stopped I dont miss them at all.

xo,
DG