Sunday, February 27, 2011

307. ENLISTING MY URBAN FAMILY


Because my apartment is hotter than Havana, I lay ON my bedspread, rather than UNDER the covers, fretting and debating. I need to get married, I’m pretty sure I want to get married, unfortunately I don’t think I want to marry the available, pandit-approved man in my life.

This is why insomnia gives me the chance to make a mental list of Dr. Froggy positives. His parents are incredibly kind and down to earth. Then there are his super welcoming, out-going (Punjabi) friends. Sure, he doesn’t live in a town as happening as New York, but every city has its charm and Dr. Froggy’s has a kick-ass football team, and I do love stadium snacks. So it would be nice to root for a team that knows what to do with a football, unlike the Vikings game plan of fumble, tumble and repeat. And he himself, Dr. Froggy, is nice. Yes, he’s a workaholic, and I’m kinda worried that I will spend a lot time alone – isolation is not good for Desi Girl. But Dr. Froggy isn’t the type of person who will play emotional games or cheat on me.

However, Dr. Froggy does have that really annoying habit of either talking about his money or joking that the only Indians cheaper than the Sindhis (which is what Dr. Froggy is) are the Gujaratis. And I don’t understand why he does this, because Dr. Froggy spends money like he’s minting it in that unfinished basement of his. But the problem is I spent the weekend going through the motions. Now that I am allowing myself to reflect, deconstruct, replaying hour by hour, I become more and more distressed.

On paper Dr. Froggy is a perfectly good person and mighty fine matrimonial candidate. And I really want to just fall in love with Dr. Froggy. But the reality is Dr. Froggy does not remotely excite or interest me physically, which has me obsessing over toxic Town and Country.

But is it so bad not to have chemistry with Dr. Froggy? I think about all those arranged married Indians in India who have gotten married sight unseen and made it work. Maybe that is the problem, America allows me too many liberties, I know too much about Dr. Froggy and have gone full circle, over thinking this, that I have talked myself out of liking Dr. Froggy which is why I am delusional and thinking about a Town and Country tryst. Do I really “need” love? I mean --- I need air, food and water. Can’t the rest fall into place? How much good sex does a prude really need?

When I cannot thinking about the weekend any more I bolt out of bed and grab my phone. I must enlist my urban family. I text Ainsley for a phone date, then Siobhan. Meera, too, she is my reality check, and I ping her. Oh and my Southern friend Haynes Thomas Taylor, she is well versed in all things romantic and proper and I will talk to her on Tuesday. I need perspective on this Dr. Froggy situation and I am too irrational to solve my own life. Thank Durga for girlfriends who double as sounding boards!

8 comments:

My Courageous Life said...

Next! Dr. Froggy is out.

Anonymous said...

i can't believe you are even asking. yes to S-E-X!

Anonymous said...

With all due respect to the choices that your parents moving to America has given you, but no Indian girl (in India) with a similar background would marry a Dr Froggy sight unseen.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear MCL -

Hhmmm. Not yet.

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

LOL.

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

Thanks for your note, I will need to go back and correct what I meant.

You are right the way I wrote it implies I am comparing myself to a contemporary Indian woman in India, who probably is really not that different than me.

And like time changes, so does the concept of arranged marriage. And yes, some my parents' contemporaries got married and saw each for the first time they married, which really whose gumption I was reflecting on. Because my cousins who are now in the 50s and 60s got married in the 80s and they are different than my parents and Indians nowadays.

Excellent catch, will revisit and edit soon.

xo,
Desi Girl

Anonymous said...

If Dr. Froggy has a kick ass football team, then I think that should be enough...why o why didn't you marry him?!?!?

-ODDB

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear ODDB -

Hey I love stadium food HE is the one who was a baby abt taking the Porsche downtown.

Growing up in Viking country I am STARVED to follow a team that knows how to play ball!

xo,
Desi Girl