317. I AM A CITIZEN OF THE WORLD

Okay. Now I’m getting annoyed. I do. I really do understand that Dr. Froggy is saving lives.

But really? I’ve been asking him about his schedule, looking for (unsuccessfully) an alignment with mine. And seriously, how can I keep attracting the busiest desi men known to man? Are non-desi men this busy? I am starting to think I should take Ainsley’s advice and branch out, stat.

“What are you doing again next week?” I ask him. “I’m in Florida, then primary call, and then secondary call for two weeks…hey why don’t you come to the condo?” he asks. There are two reasons I am going to respectfully decline. One, I have tickets booked for Minneapolis, which I told him several times. Clearly he is not listening. Or he expects me to just change my plans. And you cannot simply change plans on my dad at the last minute. Dad thinks himself a calibrated planner, so he freaks out and scolds me for not being a better planner, and then gives me this classic lecture line, “bad planning on your part does not constitute to an emergency on mine.”  And it takes a summit in Geneva to calm him down.

 Two, I don’t want to go Florida. Don’t get me wrong, I like Florida – what’s not to like about sunshine and oranges? But I have been on holiday to Tampa (once), Orlando (three times), Miami (once), and Fort Lauderdale/Hollywood (4 times). In fact, I have been to Florida more times than Wisconsin and I lived across the border from that state for 30 years.  If Dr. Froggy wants to go on a vacation, that is fine. Why can’t we select a destination that appeals to BOTH of us?

“How often do you go to the condo?” I ask. “As often as I can. I bought it so I can take long weekends without planning,” he says. “So you don’t like to mix it up and see the world? Go to India?” I ask. “No – who is going to India? Why would I go there?” he demands with irritation. Geez buddy calm down, it’s not like I asked him to set his hair on fire.  “Uhm, I was just there for a few weeks visiting my relatives,” I remind. “Oh yea, I forgot – well I don’t have time for more than three or four days off at a time, so Florida…” he explains.

Yeeeeeeaaaaah – that’s not going to work for me. I have a list of places I want to see – Egypt, Israel, China, Morocco, Dubai, Hong Kong, Australia (might have to stop in Tokyo for a few days to break up the flight), Italy, France, Brazil, a Caribbean Island, Alaska, a Mediterranean cruise, not to mention the continental US. Hhhmm, this may be a problem. I am a citizen of the world, and he evidently is a citizen of the Sunshine State.