Because I cannot get a read on Dr. Froggy, I’m re-reading our emails. I am becoming increasingly worried about our ability to communicate. And I get it; I’m an uber-girl, who is all about expressing feelings and talking.I personally don't know how you can have any meaningful relationship (work, friendship or romantic) without constant communication. Am I asking for that much? I don't know, you tell me.
As a pretty standard man, I am sure Dr. Froggy would rather scale Mount Everest without a parka. But, I don’t think I am out of order by wanting him to show me some compassion, to actually call me, rather than send texts that convolute messages. And since I am dealing with Dad, I don’t want to react in a hasty fashion and tell him to bugger off.
He did tell me once that he’s a doctor and he deals with death all the time, but I won’t be able to deal with being handled antiseptically. Maybe there is a type of woman who is meant to be a doctor’s wife, and maybe that person is not me. And I am independent, but the point of being in a relationship and getting married, I thought was to build a life with a companion. Sometimes I feel like I will be on the sidelines making sure the heat works and going to Florida when summoned. And maybe this the conversation we need to have. I feel like am being relegated into becoming something, someone I am not.
There is another thing that has been bothering me. I invited Dr. Froggy to come to Minneapolis (before Dad got sick) and meet my friends and family. I understand that maybe Dr. Froggy does not think of Minneapolis as a place he’d want to visit (but Minneapolis is a bigger town and media market than where he lives). And this is where my “people” are. You want your friends and family to like the person you are dating. I am not saying they need to be stamp “approved” across Dr. Froggy’s forehead – but I would like them to get along. Since I have met his family and friends, I don’t think what I am asking is that outrageous. Yet he has not responded to that email either, not even with regret, which is a perfectly fine answer. Not the one that I want, but an acceptable one nonetheless.
Instead Dr. Froggy asked me to come to Florida. So now I don’t know what is going on. Am I just expected to fall in line like his mother does, like my mother does? Then I am DEFINITELY not the right woman for this guy. And does he think that whenever he wants to go to Florida I am just going to follow? Because sure once or twice is nice for a Sunshine State 3-day weekend, but every month is too much for me. Something I would tell him if we ever had a conversation.
Which segues into, he really doesn't know anything about me and begs the question, are we ever going to talk about anything real, that matters?