Monday, April 25, 2011


I hear noise. Ringing. I think something is ringing. I pop open my eyes and blink a few times. The ringing continues. For a change it is not my head in a drunken fog. Ugh, the phone. I sit up and look around the dark. I seem to have chosen to sleep in my bed instead of on the couch. And I managed to turn off all the lights.

It is rare that I sleep soundly. So the abrupt awakening is jarring enough. I squint to read the time. When I see it is 2:41 a.m., panic rivets through me. Growing up 11.5 hours behind Delhi, late, late night calls were reserved for the announcement of a relative’s death. That kind of dread immediately leads my thoughts down the road of, “OMG I hope nothing has happened to my parents, brother, sister-in-law, niece, Massi, Bangalore Cousin, etc.”

I untangle myself from the covers and stumble across the bedroom. I find the phone and mumble, “Hello?” “Allo?” a woman’s voice --- that sounds familiar in some way, yet unknown in another --- asks. “Yes?” I ask a little cranky, a little tired. “I am calling from Rajasthan,” she says. Well good for her. “And…” I reply to Ms. Rajasthan. “I am responding to you advertisement,” she says. “My what?” I ask, wondering if I am dreaming. And if  I am not dreaming, then what the hoo-hah is going on here? “Advertisement…” she repeats.

Immediately I hang-up. I have placed no such ad and I will not entertain such calls at 3:00 am. Where do I have time to sell stuff on craigslist? Surely she has the WRONG phone number. I lay back in bed. The phone rings. I let it go to voicemail. It rings again. So I let it go to voicemail again. 

When it rings AGAIN. I bolt up and will on Ganesh, oh wise and wondrous remover of obstacles, rid this crank caller woman from my life. On the fifth call I yank back the blankets and huff and puff across the bedroom in the manner of an aging sorority girl. I glare at the phone, like it is Samsung’s fault that the ringing persists. Then I do something I NEVER do. I turn the damn thing off and hope that no one needs me until morning.


Venusallure said...

you sure girl it is not about your advertisement placed in Delhi belly rishtas section...remmeber you did not resist

btw - I hear ya pain and your experiences sound so very similar to mine - amusing, frustrating and outright ridiculous and I have spanned across Desi arena to videsi arena as well.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Venusallure -

First, LOVE your name :) and second ... I do remember not resisting and from today's post your comment is answered :)

LOL, I think we have all dealt with this in some desi shape or form, and frankly, non-desi form too!

Desi Girl