Thursday, August 11, 2011

426. LAST DESI DATE …. EVER … MOST LIKELY … WELL DEFINITELY FOR A WHILE


The following morning I wake up, brush my teeth, brew some coffee, watch the news, boot up the computer and log into my email.

Another feature of the matrimonial site is that it informs you when someone accepts and declines you.  I have been declined. By Flyboy. I can only imagine that Flyboy landed sometime last night 8 and 9 pm, listened to his voicemail, went home and sent me this decline note through the site:

Hi Desi Girl, Got your message, no worries. I just thought you would have been a good person to know. I apologize. Just a tip you may want to put a recent photo or two up here. That way the other party won't get any surprises when you meet. Take care. Flyboy.

Okay. It takes me a read or three to digest his note. On one hand I want to laugh out loud at the bizarre messaging. He called me a catch and pursued me. I agreed to a date with him, twice. We met. I didn’t feel the za za zoom. I was honest, instead of leading him on. And now – what – he is calling ME ugly? “A tip” “put a recent photo?” He is the one who looks like a chipmunk and I am the one who surprised him?  I mean – yea – I am no Aishwarya Rai – but shoot I ain’t a nasty uggo heifer. And he is NO rock star. SIGH!

And more importantly … who does this? This is SO rude. I have liked plenty of guys who have not liked me back. I don’t go all psycho single desi girl on them. You know what is even sadder? He’s not anyone I like and as the dust begins to settle --- his comments begin to make me feel bad about myself. I mean, what did I do to him? He is the one who did one wacky thing after another and now he is making me feel bad about my looks?

What is wrong with me? Why don’t I stick up for myself? Why I am dating desi – if this is all that is out there, flashers, freaks, the emotionally disturbed?

This is it – I don’t care if my parents and rellies in Delhi want me to marry desi. I am no longer down with brown. Enough is enough. This is THE LAST desi date I go on. I deserve more than this.

So gross. So defeated. So done.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

aww DG, you hurt his ego, so he attempted to hurt yours. He said the photo thing coz he knows his own photo is not a realistic portrayal of how he looks..don't give up, there are good men around. Sometimes we have to sift through the bad (very bad) ones before finding the wonderful one
Milly xxxxxx

Cris said...

I agree, it's a macho-ego problem and he wanted to make you feel miserable too.Which he has, at some level, accomplished because he knows how women react to negative comments about their looks.Just dust yourself off and go again out there, remember there is an as*hole less in the path to find your perfect Desi Boy.

Hebah said...

You are right, you do deserve better than that.

Anonymous said...

I wonder that you keep going back to "why desi". Is it that the non-desis you will meet will be better? I know, statistically, there may be a greater chance of meeting a better non-desi. But there are a whole lot of factors in play apart from sheer numbers that make me skeptical. However, I have been in a similar boat in the desi country that causes this skepticim. Hope you have better days ahead!! Take care!!

Shoilee said...

In the most selfish way possible (so sorry) I hope this is NOT your last desi date. It's just too entertaining (so callous, I know!!!)

But really, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that some guys build up their own self esteem by passive-aggressively pointing the finger right back at you. He insulted you and pretended like he was doing you a favor.

I doubt you'll let it get to you for too long--you've got too much spirit!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Milly -

I understand that - who has not had their feeling hurt when liking someone who does not like you as much back. But I don't know - I just work it and get over it in time. Yes -sift through the bad in order to find the good :) - next!

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Cris -

You are right - he wanted to get back at me - kinda childish - clearly he is not one of these fellows who believes in keeping a door or window slightly open :)whatevs ... like I said to Milly - next! Let me find my feather duster and begin dusting!

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Hebah -

Thanks! Thanks! Thanks!

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

You make a great point - and no - I don't think non-desis will be better. I am surrounded by amazing and wonderful desi men that I find it stunning in some ways that there are so many wacked out desi men. Maybe I am naive - or maybe I am lucky to have such a high standard to compare to - this way I can spot a desi dud and start moving on bc I know what a good desi egg looks like.

There is a part of me that thinks - however - am I limiting myself - maybe my man is not desi. I am living in New York, maybe I should be more open. I don't know - my jury is out.

xo,
Desi Girl

NS said...

WTF!! Actually make that WTFF!!!! That is simply unacceptable!!!! I hope he gets beaten up or something!!! ugh! No wonder normal desi men have such a hard time finding a date!!! Ugh! what an idiot! def, didnt expect flyboy thing to end that way!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dearest NS -

I too did not think Flyboy would be such a bust - but alas he was - and you are exactly right - he ruins it for normal desi dudes!

Bad Flyboy bad!!!

xo,
Desi Girl

DhakDhakGirl said...

How about "no more dating exclusively Desi"? PS: Is Nate the Helper single?!

DhakDhakGirl said...

Whatever happened to Tapan?!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear DhakDhak Girl -

You are SO on the money with your comment. I think it is the exclusive desi thing that needs to go. But in that moment I was like "this is the late desi date ever!" :)

xo,
Desi Girl

p.s. Nate the Helper is like 18 years old :) ... ha! cougar much? I'd say yes!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear DhakDhak Girl -

I have NO idea what happens to Taps. I have not heard word boo in several years. He could have moved to Mars for all I know!

xo,
Desi Girl