464. HAVE CAKE AND EAT IT TOO

“I don’t think monogamy works,” he says. Okay, great. I love it when men try to explain why they can have their cake and eat it too. Why do I even care? He doesn’t even like me in the same way I like him. I need to meet someone who is interested in me and the type of relationship I want. “I see,” I reply. “You think it does? Monogamy?” he asks. “I guess it depends on the person. I know some people who do monogamy just fine and others who move from one person to the other. Maybe they want to avoid the emotion but enjoy the physical,” I reply and sip my wine.

“I take it you don’t approve of the latter,” he says. “Nobody made me God, but it is not for me,” I reply. “I am a one-woman, one-man, type of person,” I add. “And kids, I suppose you want kids?” he asks.

Hhhmm. Now this is interesting. If you would have asked me three years ago, I would have said, yes, absolutely. I want kids. I have to have kids. I will not even consider dating any man who does not want to have kids. Not having kids was a deal breaker. But now – I don’t know if not having kids is a deal breaker.

“Well?” he asks. “I can go either way,” I reply. He nods but gives me a look that indicates he does not really, truly believe me. Which, is why he must say, “I think people say that – but what happens when you are 50 and regret not having kids?” 50? Dude, I am not even 40 and don’t have much regret. I mean, sure I have some regret, but not too much.

And if I can be honest, I am a little frightened by what lurks in my gene pool, much less mixing it with someone else’s. I may have mentioned I have a niece, and she is almost two – and man oh man is she a SPITFIRE. I think she is more fire than me. While cute and adorable, she has the energy of an Energizer Bunny on steroids and sometimes I have to agree with Hilary Clinton that raising a kid takes a village. And since most days I am can barely take care of myself – I doubt I should be taking of a small version of me.

“Right now, I want to travel and see the world – with a partner, a husband,” I reply. He again nods his head but says nothing.