Friday, March 30, 2012

547. DELETE AND BUH-BYE


At 5:00 pm the dot, I collect my things, pop my head into Daniel’s office, wish him a nice evening and leave the office. Once outside, I am met with a beautiful March evening and decide to save $2.25 and walk home. I can’t stand the 6 train. For some reason I like the trains on the west side and the buses on the east side.

The walk does me a lot of good because I am so annoyed and livid with him.  How dare he contact me after he spoke to me that? After he led me on? How? HOW? HOW?! And now, that I have worked at working through my feelings (feelings that I don’t understand and feelings that I the control freak cannot control) and getting over him, forgetting him, and then he comes back?

As I stomp past the Armory on Park Avenue, I think, really, really? Really? Hey. How are you? Was he really that casual? Did he FORGET being a DOWN RIGHT ASSHOLE when he YELLED at me? Fine, whatever I am not perfect …  I mean, blah, blah, blah. But REALLY? He was OVER the top with his mean and nasty texts.

Was he raised in a cave? Does he NOT know to say SORRY? Who the hell does this arrogant bastard think he is? Just because he is rich and smart, he thinks himself SOOO important, I wonder and march by the Metro Minis shop. It is not like he is saving lives.

I have half a mind to tell him off, tell where he can go, and by his pompous ass the ticket to “Bite Me”. I turn east onto 79th Street and have an idea. What if I just ignore him? Like he does me. It is not like I want to talk to him. He is the one who wrote to me. And I am not not not in the mood for another round of this. I don’t want to be his friend. I made that clear. I am looking for THE ONE. So I don’t want to deal with him and his toddler tantrums. I don’t want to go back on that emotional heroin infused roller coaster he puts me on every time he enters my theme park of a life.

I stop at the corner of 79th Street and First Avenue and pull out my phone and delete his message.

15 comments:

Falling Up said...

I'm so glad you're back!! I know you're busy with life and all and it's totally understandable - heck I haven't blogged in months. But I'm just letting you know I really enjoy your blog and look forward to the rest of the story. And I'm so proud of you for deleting that text! How annoying.

mybeadifullife said...

good for you desi girl!! he doesn't seem at all to be a good friend to have, much less boyfriend potential.

Firefly said...

Go you! Always so hard to do, but definitely the smartest decision.

Also I am curious why you decided to write a blog set in the past that involves events that are/were clearly painful for you? I enjoy your insights and observations, but it seems like it must be hard on you to delve so deeply back into all of this...

Adventurous Ammena said...

well done lady.. but now I know he resurfaces (your comment about the real life) im awaiting ;)

VIC SEMBI said...

what is going on, your post has not been updated for a long time.

Whats new?

Firefly said...

Hope this post is not also your "buh-bye" from blogging!

Firefly said...

Hope this post is not also your "buh-bye" from blogging!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Falling Up -

Very sorry in the delay - I am busy, I am going to post about real life and explain what has kept me away! All good stuff. More coming - I promise. And thanks for your kind note about the blog - I enjoy doing it too! That TEXT! I know - I did delete it! Very annoying.

xo,
DG

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Mybeadifullife -

Thanks!I know - he is so tough to read. I dont know what the heck is going on. I wish I could just the feelings off, like a faucet!

xo,
DG

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Firefly -

Yes, delete - that was a good idea! Well you ask a great question about the blog set up.

I decided to blog because my friends were telling me that the dates were funny in general and that they wanted some way to know what was going on, and some of them live on the West Coast, Mid-west, so I decided to blog. It was the easiest way to share the story and very therapeutic.

And - yes - at times it was tough and painful - but I guess for me, denying it would have been dangerous, to leave all these feelings festering - plus thank God for humor - it is the best drug ever - I use it ALL the time.

xo,
DG

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Adventurous Ammena -

Thanks darling! :) I try to shield myself from him and the ways that he makes me weak in the knees :)

Yes, real life - more coming!

xo,
DG

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Vic Sembi!!!

How are you? It has been a long time - but I am still here, trucking along.

More to come!

xo,
DG

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Firefly -

No, no! Not buh-bye at all! I promise! More is coming I promise, the start to this year has been slow with the blogging, going to post about that right now!

xo,
DG

NS said...

DG, I am so proud of u, good riddance, btw u SHOULD have told that jerk what he is, he deserved it, ur silent admirer as always, NS :)

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear NS -

Thanks, I should have, dont know what I was thinking, lust perhaps ... feelings are great and make me silly!

xo,
DG