Unfortunately I suffer from Lucy Van Pelt Syndrome (yes from Peanuts). While bossy and sassy, Lucy was savvy, a female entrepreneur with her own psychiatrist’s booth. She was also SOOOOO in love with Schroeder that she tolerated being constantly slighted no matter how long she sat at the edge of his piano. Like Lucy, I spent a life time selecting Schroeder, who ultimately rejected me.
This is why Meera’s belief, that it is better when the man initiates contact, has merit. It means something in my profile or photos appeals to him. Because he has risked being accepted he is more likely to work at engaging my interest. Despite how many times I get hurt, I can’t stop believing he is out there. So when I receive Indian Cowboy’s communication request, I am hopeful.
From his photos he has a head of Indian uncle hair. It is parted too far to the left and stretched over the dome of his head. He is not bald, but it looks like he tried to straighten his hair – do desi men to this? According to the profile posted by his brother, Indian Cowboy is tall, fair, and in good shape. He is an engineer who eats meat and doesn’t drink. His interests include working out and dance lessons. He is described as chivalrous and funny sounds nice after (Dillweed Post 33 and Mr. Mustachio Post 25). Normally I am suspicious of men who don’t post their profiles. I worry that they are not serious about the search, still under the influence of mummy-papa or shy --- these are NOT the men I wish to meet!
Indian Cowboy's brother’s admiration is evident from his eloquent writing. It is obvious their family is a loving one and this appeals to me. Equally important is that Indian Cowboy is well read and highly educated. As a little girl my mother taught me to respect education and honor Sarasvati, the patron goddess of knowledge. I knew not to touch my feet to paper. I was to treat books as an extension of the divine and that my mind was a gift from God. Since I very much want to meet a man who values family and education – I accept.
Lucy Van Pelt
Peanuts Comic Strip
Upbeat desi woman outsources herself from Minnesota to Manhattan in search of love, and finds something more...
20 comments:
Dance lessons........I am Already suspicious now! What kind of dance? He did not mean indian classical like bharatnatiyam or kuchipudi. When Indian guys say dance lessons..it is suspicious!!!!!! Can't wait to hear more about this!
Dear Anonymous, yes well I was suspicious of the dance lessons too. I will be sharing soon! Also, I have learned when Indian men say "I am looking forward to seeing you" or "I'd love to" ... that I should have run, not walked away. Stay tuned for those upcoming dates!!!
I do believe in what Meera said that when Men initiates the contact it has some positive things towards it. There is this joke a ship got wrecked in the middle of the ocean and then differnet people from different nationalities on board managed to swim to some small islands. On American Island 2 boys and one girl, the girl sitting on the rock telling each of them her rights and their duties, Mexican island- both boys and the girl is making or distilling spirits and food etc, Indian island-the 2 boys are still waiting to ask the girl her name.
So mostly indian men have no guts to ask the girl out...so their parents/siblings have to pitch in.
ha! you totally explained WHY I don't ask men out.. you say it so much more nicely..
I kind of agree with Maureen or whatever her name is...my thing is there is no doubt that the guy needs to show interest, but if the girl doesn't do some fawning back, then it's a no go for the guy. Seriously though...what is wrong with the gal making the first move? I would be flattered. The ones that aren't flattered or let it get to their heads are the ones that turn out to be the dicks...you figure it out (albeit painfully sometimes) but you move on...
-ODDB
Well I am going to respond to Anoymous, Anonymous and ODDB in one note here ... feel free to engage me in additional convos. For a long time I wanted to be me, but to Meera's pt, I think I intimidated men. So I tried to scale back and be less me, but at some point I over compensated and became pathetic. While I deeply admire Meera, and appreciate how she found Rohit, I don't know her that her model works for me. And I agree, this is the 21st Centtury a woman shd be able to say "I like you" ... but then sometimes I wonder if that I cannot compete against 5,000 years of Hnduism. I can say, when I started to love myself and made ME the center of my life, I started to really love myself.
Anonymous ... sidebar, I wish I didn't ask men out ... darn me for having self-respect! and believing that an Indian man really wanted a smart woman.
Do men straighten their hair? Duh! Where have you been? Michael Jackson... Reverend Sharpton.. Do these names ring any bells???? But, theyy are not desi. Or, are they?
I am curious at your use of the word "brother."
As I'm reading in the wrong order... I know you called/talked to Indian Cowboy. Now, I can't wait to read about your date...
Dear Starlight ... you make an EXCELLENT point, indeed I meant "do DESI men straighten their hair" ... I shall edit the post at once. Indians do apply henna to their hair which makes the grey turn orange, for what reason I am not sure. I stick with sending my greys back to black!
When you refer to "brother" do you mean in this post? If so, then I mean "my brother" perhaps that is also not clear, pls advise, tho I think I will make another small edit tonight!
Dear Starlight ... I re-read this post and see here a reference to "brother" .. ah yes in this post I refer to Indian Cowboy's brother. I edited that sentence, too! So good to have a word smither on board!
So the lesson is that you thought Schroeder was the one from you and then you learned through your personal experience that he was not. So now Lucy van Pelt who is the one you're searching for?
Dear Samosas for One ... that is an EXCELLENT question. My immediate response is Charlie Brown, but can I compete with the little red head? And more importantly, wld I notice a nice man when I meet one?
NO! Don't say that. Do you suffer from that whole I'm only attracted to jerks/men who aren't into me syndrome?
Dear Samosas for One ... ugh. No I dont like jerks. I seem to fall for these guys who claim to like me as I am but then want me to change.
Or I am not interested in a guy and he woos me into falling for him and then is like "oh I dont want a relationship" or "sorry my fiancee died 8 years ago and I am not over her yet, sorry I broke your heart. And I am taking all our common friends, hope that is okay."
And I have a real explanation for you, but I cannot write it here for it will ruin the surprise, we'll add this to the list of convo topics.
Ok so I feel compelled to ask this question. Do you feel you would have similar experiences in another city? I feel like some of the things you mentioned are quintessential dating-in-NYC things.
Dear Samosas for One ... well the deceased financee and change for me happened when I was in the Midwest.
And yes men are challenging in NYC but then I look around and see the volume of married people, desi and otherwise, so I think I have dated the wrong men and need to be more honest and real with myself. Again, to be added to our convo topics lest I give away too many surprises!
Ok so here is a question someone posed to me once. How many people do you know whose marriage you respect who met and started dating while living in NYC and ended up together?
Dear Samosas for One ... fascinating query ... there is Meera and Rohit, in addition to 3other chums I have from undergrad who met their men in NYC.
Also, I have 6 friends I volunteer with met and married in NYC. One friend met her man in Paris, but he moved from Callie to NY to be with her, so I am counting them.
See there is hope .... :)
Good!
Dear Samosas for One ... yes, to good! He is out there for you and me! We just need to find him and him! Maybe they are friends and looking for us!
Feel better and I'll email you at gmail this weekend and we can go from there! Night night!
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