Monday, February 15, 2010

37. TEETOTALLING INDIAN COWBOY

The lesson learned from dating Cat Boy, the vegetarian (Post 5), is that desi dietary restrictions are sometimes tricky. In this, my second phone call with Indian Cowboy, I am getting to the bottom of the drinking issue.

“Did your college have a Greek system?” I ask. “Yes, but I wasn’t Greek. Were you?” he asks. “Yep. How else to get beer?” I joke, but really am serious. “So how much do you drink?” Indian Cowboy asks. “You made a reference earlier in the conversation.”

“A few times a week,” I reply. I might be a liiiiiiittle off, but cocktails are as Manhattan as taxi cabs, who really counts? “Is that a problem? Because my work and volunteering have social, sometimes drinking components,” I state, thinking this is going swimmingly! “I understand,” he says and adds. “You know I’m a teetotaler, right?”

Shoot a pickle. My parents are too, but don’t actually label themselves as such. They even have a full bar at home. Of course they don’t know this, but as a teenager I drank some of the vodka and gin and filled the bottles up with water.

Then he says, “I don’t keep alcohol in the house.”

Now I am WORRIED! Reigning in the drinking for THE ONE, is one thing. But frequenting the corner bar because I am not “allowed” to shake my own martini at home is crazy! And then what? I get into my car and drunk drive home? There are 19 million people living in this state! Does this sound like a good idea to anyone?

“What about entertaining?” I ask. “Of course,” he says. “I would never want our guests to be uncomfortable, I’d be okay with beer or wine … for them.”

Not for me? Something about his rigidity is bothersome, but for now, I drop the issue.

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8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Question for you: Did your parents or their guests ever noticed that the gin/vodka bottles are filled with water? That will be hilarious if they didnot know and were trying to get high drinking water. Ha

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous ... that would have been HILARIOUS, fake drunk desis! I think the only reason I got away with this was that my teetotalling parents are friends with Johnny Walker drinkers. And you cannot dilute the amber drinks! I really should check my parents stash next time I am in MN. And toss those bottles out for good, before there is any ACTUAL proof of my doings ... other than of course this blog! LOL!

Anonymous said...

While I realize this is probably not the place, I am reading and enjoying the posts and had to chime in on something. I guess I'd just like to say that I'm glad there was enough wine and warm carpet. Okay, carry on.

Anonymous said...

I filled my parent's vodka bottles with water too! A couple years ago my friend ratted me out. Before my parents moved to their retirement home my mom asked if she should pack the vodka or if it was all water. I told her it was sad she had to ask me that question. :)

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous ... yippee! Validation! I am going to tell my brother, the good son, who married a nice Indian girl and rarely drink. :)

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous ... thank you for your note, and I am so glad you chimed in here! I am pleased you enjoy reading and cheers to you!

Samosas for One said...

Ok wait 101: At this point how did you not throw in the towel and say this isn't going to work?

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One ... I give too many benefits of the doubt and perhaps have a high threshold for pain ....