Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Because I want to WOW the Banker, I obsess about attire. Where are Stacy London and Clinton Kelly when I REALLY need them? I hit speed dial and detail the situation to Meera, who replies with, “Toss caution aside. You're too together, too intimidating. So jeans and your wrap top. Dressy casual.” When another person knows what is in your closet, this is a SUPER good friend!

I get to the restaurant before the Banker. When he arrives I note his salt and pepper hair, specs, $5,000 Hermes power suit, shiny wing tips and the juggling act of two mobile phones. I should have known better than to don jeans when meeting a Banker. How did the goddesses allow this to happen? 

“Let’s start with a drink,” Banker suggests. We’re in optimal date seating assignment, at a table for four, side by side. The book How to Make Anyone Fall in Love With You, suggests you should express interest through touch, so I reach out and brush his hand. Banker’s eyes grow big, like I just doused him with kerosene and set him on fire.

After drinks we find an Indian restaurant. When our food arrives the Banker tosses his tie over his shoulder, then sets his elbow in something wet. "Oh shit," he says really loudly. (Please note: I am a really loud person, so when I say he was loud, he was loud!) When he realizes it’s water and not oily turmeric that permanently stains clothes a golden spice, he is relieved.

We are having pleasant dinner conversation when I hear my phone ringing. I know it is Reindeer calling to confirm tomorrow’s date details. Since I don’t wear watches on dates, I slyly try and figure out how to check my phone for the time. As if on cue, the goddesses align the planets (making up for letting me go on a date in jeans) because the Banker asks for the check.

Banker walks me to the subway. On the way we pass an Ann Taylor store and he tells me about a former girlfriend who wore size 00 long pants. Not only was that woman tall, she was rail thin! Which suggests to me, a short curvy me doesn't stand a chance with the serial size skinny dater.

We arrive at the subway station and Banker asks, “Are you sure you're okay to ride the subway so late?” We look at his watch and I learn it is 9:45 pm. Excellent! “The subway is fine.” I say. Reindeer goes to sleep at 10:00 pm so I have 15 minutes to confirm tomorrow’s date!


Nancy said...

He actually said that to you? That is strikes 1, 2 and 3 all in a row! He's out!!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Nancy ... you mean about the serial skinny dater? I KNOW IT!