Friday, June 11, 2010

121. WHY DO I CARE ABOUT SOMEONE WHO SO CLEARLY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ME

After two really cold and snowy weeks in MSP I am back in NYC. My New Year’s resolution for 2008 is to get married. But first I must call Reindeer for our last supper. “Well, hello, and Happy New Year,” he says in his sexy voice. Immediately this makes me cranky. Unlike my brother the diplomat, I cannot fake nice or happy, and say, “Same to you. So are we meeting next Saturday?”

“Uh, sure, for dinner, still, right?” his tone changes. It is almost like he doesn’t want to see me. Which is too bad because I want to a reunion with my Tupperware. “Uhm, yeah dinner was your idea,” I reply flatly. Now is when I should tell him to mail the items to me. But I am the victim of too many Bollywood love story movies because the demented part of me wants to see him. “Sure, dinner,” he replies. Then I ask, “Are you going to drive or take the train?” Just as the words fall out of my mouth I wish I could gobble them back. If he takes the train the east side is better for him. But for me it is a total pain in the a** and an hour commute one way. I would rather meet in the Theatre District which is why I suggest, “You know, you’re busy. Why don’t I make reservations and send you details.” “Sounds good,” he says.

We hang-up and I log onto the openteable.com site and search nice, mid-priced Hell’s Kitchen restaurants and find Sosa Borella. I enter my user name, password, complete the reservation and log off. The entire process takes less than 5 minutes.

In a previous incarnation of being infatuated with Reindeer I’d immediately send him coordinated details. Which now has me wondering if I taught him to treat me like I was at his beck and call, because I was. Any why do I care about someone who clearly never cared about me? I do the same thing with my friends; I give them everything I have until I have nothing and then wonder why I feel so alone.

This is when I decide (between now and the Reindeer “date”) I must date like crazy and fall in love with someone new. That will show Reindeer what he’s missed out on and give me the kick to finally move on.

Alright love of my life I am ready to receive you, so you may appear … NOW!

10 comments:

Samosas for One said...

Know you weren't alone in wondering this. That is THE question a lot of women struggle with.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One ... I just cannot figure out how all these other women are getting married. Or even in normal relationships.

Do they marry/date beneath themselves? Are they goddesses? Skinny? Smart? What is the trick in getting a man to care about you? I have been cited over over that the key is to be with someone who adores you more than you for him. If anyone knows, they shd tell us the secret!

VickyG said...

I'm no expert on this either (still single). But, I don't agree with "..adores you more than you for him". And I don't think all women who are married are in "normal relationships" as you define it. I guess what I'm saying is that we each defines "normal" differently. And sometimes we might not even meet our own criteria! Don't if there IS a trick per se. Wonder if the reason a man SEEMS to care when we don't care about them, is because men in their mid-30s and 40s are inherently set in their ways and fearful of "forever". Being slightly unavailable is less intimidating for them?

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear VickyG ... Girl I ain't no expert either. If I was, would I have this blog! LOL! That is cool, we can agree to disgaree about who adores who more. I've heard this cited by very different people is all.

Since I am ruled by fairness and justice, I want to be an equally loving and fulfilling relationship. You are right, who knows what is NORMAL.

Totally agree that men in the late 30s-40s, esp desi have major "forever" issues. I get being set in your ways, I can be, but I am also open minded enough to adjust.

Samosas for One said...

Dear 101: Hmm...I think we should ponder offline rather than publicly so email me if you wanna chat further about it.

The citation you refer to reminds me of that How I Met Your Mother episode where they talk about being on someone's hook or having someone on your hook.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One ... sure we can chat offline, I'll drop you a note. And I have not seen that show in forever, what is the episode about? whose on whose hook?

Samosas for One said...

Each person recounts how they were on someone's hook or someone is on their hook.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One .. GIRL! I got to get my hook on someone! That will be part of my next mission :)

Samosas for One said...

Ha!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One ... ha is right! Oooo, Jason is on, must go! Too bad he is in jail with Michael. More soon.