Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Desi dating is going to prepare for an Oscar winning role. When I meet Quan Jock outside the Starbucks I feign delight but really I am SOOOOO disappointed. He’s cute (face-wise), but his teeth are unevenly crooked. Don’t get me wrong, my teeth, despite having braces are imperfect. But he is the first person I have met whose smile distracts me.    

We decide to wander along 8th Avenue to a less crowded Starbucks. As we walk I survey the streets. You would never believe it snowed two days because the heat from the City has melted every flake away. Luckily we find a window-side table at the second java hut and I send Rohit a telepathic message to this location. “What will you have?” Quan Jock asks. “Grande skim latte. Oh and a marble loaf,” I reply.

He nods and returns with coffees and cake. “I will hit the gym tomorrow,” I joke and point at the cake. Quan Jock makes a face. “I don’t exercise. When my belt is tight I stop eating.” Oh my. Am I to infer he finds me fat? And by the way, he is really SKINNY --- like snap-him-in-half-and-use-him-to-pick-corn-from-my-teeth skinny. Aiydesi date is giving me a dieting complex, and I’m not even overweight.

“What do you normally eat for lunch?” I ask. "Usually I eat in the cafeteria. But I don’t like American food and meat. So vegetables with ketchup,” Quan Jock says. Okay then, he just insulted my inner foodie. “What’s your drink of choice?” I ask, praying he says Johnny Walker Black like a good Punjabi man. “Daiquiris,” he replies. Uhm what? “I like wine and martinis,”
I reply. “I don’t,”
Quan Jock says. Of course, why would he? Neither Beaujolais nor Grey Goose pairs well with green beans and condiments. 

At the end of the date he invites me to dinner next Monday. A part me considers saying no. But the part of me that wants to get married and have a mini-me (just what the world needs right?), agrees.

The next day I email Rohit and Meera:
Email To: Rohit; Meera
Email From: Desi Girl
Nice first date. We are meeting again.

I feel the need to lie, so they think I am healing, moving on, getting stronger, putting myself out there. I want them to believe I am STILL that girl who gathered her gumption and moved to Manhattan in her mid-30s. I don’t want them to know that I feel mostly broken.

Email From: Rohit
Email To: Meera; Desi Girl
I walked by both starbai (plural for many starbuck) and saw some Indian guy talking with a Latina...

This makes me laugh for two reasons. First, Quan Jock has no idea about the behind the scenes happenings. Second, this furthers my Manhattan identity crisis. Sure the Statue Liberty wants the weary, but she wants us to learn English! When I lived in Minnesota, I never had an order name (Sophie) nor was I spoken to in Spanish. NYC likes to think it is multi-cultural, but really I find it clicky.

Email To: Rohit; Meera
From: Desi Girl
Latina? that and taco are fighting words.

Email From: Rohit

Email To: Desi Girl; Meera


Again I laugh and remember how blessed I am to have Rohit and Meera in my life as I weather the storm of "getting there".


Samosas for One said...

NO! Don't do it. Don't go on that second date!

Anonymous said...

I agree. You're to cool for THAT second date! And I agree... you ARE lucky to have Rohit & Meera in that capacity. Wish all of us single girls on that particular/important quest are/were so blessed!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Samosas for One ... where were you when I was on that Starbucks date?

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous ... thank you for your comment! Your kindness warms my heart! Yes, Rohit and Meera, let's call them RoMee, are indeed great peeps. In some parts of my life I am over blessed and others under, oh well, such is life! I think we shd all savor the gifts we get and not worry about the things we dont have.

Samosas for One said...

Well Anonymous and I are here now! So from now on (if you're still single) we're here for you.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samosas for One ... I think you, me and Anonymous should get on skype! Thanks for having my back!