The next morning I get on the computer and find this email from Town and Country time stamped at 2:31 am. And of course, because I am as curious as I am chatty, I open it at once.
EMAIL TO: DESI GIRL
EMAIL FROM: TOWN AND COUNTRY
Thanks for the email. I apologize for not getting back to you. I am trying to reconcile with the girl I had been seeing. I check the matrimonial site as a distraction. You’re a sweet girl, and I know you’ll find someone that makes you very happy.
Sweet? Bah! But, what I do find interesting is that he doesn’t use her name, which I know, in addition to ALL the details about their relationship. Surely he must remember those deeply personal conversations we had. Because I neither leave well enough alone, nor do I realize when life is waving a DANGER DESI GIRL! DANGER! sign, I out of compassion (I should really stop doing this) write him back.
EMAIL TO: TOWN AND COUNTRY
EMAIL FROM: DESI GIRL
Thanks for your note and honesty. I know what it feels like to love someone who doesn’t love you back. But when the dust settles I must admit, I miss the idea of my past loves, but not them. Break-ups are sometimes the universe’s way of fixing what is broken. I have yet to look back at an ex and not feel relief in some way. I hope you find the love or peace you need. And for the record, meeting you was good for me. It restored something in me.
If I could, I'd wave a wand and make her like you or make you get over her. It takes time and it is so hard when you are the one more in love. If you're interested in being friends, let me know. Take care and be well --- don't give into fear and forgive yourself.
Immediately he writes back:
EMAIL TO: DESI GIRL
EMAIL FROM: TOWN AND COUNTRY
Friends. That would be nice.
EMAIL TO: TOWN AND COUNTRY
EMAIL FROM: DESI GIRL
Goodie, friends it is. In the event you're free Thursday, let me know, we can go for kati rolls. (What is wrong with me? He is not available and not interested! Why did I EVEN offer to be his friend?)
EMAIL TO: DESI GIRL
EMAIL FROM: TOWN AND COUNTRY
I'm traveling all week.
EMAIL TO: TOWN AND COUNTRY
EMAIL FROM: DESI GIRL
(See. I reached out and was rejected in 10 seconds by my new friend Town and Country.) Happy travels. Email me when you get back, when/if you want to hang out.
Okay, R-E-A-L-L-Y, why don't I stop when I'm ahead? Clearly Town and Country is NOT NOT NOT my destiny. At least he was man enough, decent enough, to provide me the closure I deserve. Now Desi Girl, I command you to move forward.
Upbeat desi woman outsources herself from Minnesota to Manhattan in search of love, and finds something more...
4 comments:
I beg to differ. He is NOT man enough OR decent enough. BUT, I find that women often feel rejected when the man is just doing what he wants to do. No more. No less. He is just living in HIS moment. And we must learn to live in OURS, rather than live in the fantasy world that is actually created as a REACTION to HIS world. I know it is easier said than done. Especially since I seem to need continued reminders of this as well. It is SO very difficult to break out of that cycle. B/c we are created and then socialized to NOT think of ourselves first. What a mistake our mothers, grandmothers, and all the women before us had made... and the same mistakes we shall make too, if we don't catch ourselves. Love this blog. Looking forward to more :) -vg
He checks matrimonial site as a distraction......OMG this guys is super confused and spineless. And what katti rolls for him? Are you out of your mind. He should get a court order to be 300 feet away from you. I actually fear about the girl he is reconciling with. So when ever he gets distracted he goes for FLASHY dates. Hmm. he needs some Rehab.
Dear Anonymous ... I agree, he is just living his life and doing what he wants for himself. I mean men can sleep with 20 women and a studs, a woman does she's a whore. And I think society tolerates men behaving like men and women, not so much. This is why they dont rule the world or run Wall Street.
Living in reaction is actually how I have behaved my entire life. I so agree, about the mistakes of our fore-mothers. It is a battle that I am embarking on. Since am a po' desi girl, I've been reading some self help books in lieu of the therapist that I probably really need. But we are all works in progress and I am trying to get there. And this blog has me reliving A LOT of past pain and things I decided not to deal with and the way I allowed my "friends" to transgress upon me. But I ALLOWED it, so I am making the corrective steps.
More soon.
Desi GIrl
Dear Anonymous ... I think for some reason I thought we could be friends like I am with the Banker ... and no no no no ... I was not going to make them or buy them for him ... lord no, I have evolved a little, thank Durga right? :). The next man I have over for dinner is sitting on the floor (bc I have no furniture) and eating Domino's and beer, or wine and if he's lucky, I'll let him use my glassware.
Sometimes, I wonder who is more pagal, me or him. Bc sometimes I really think it is me.
Xo,
Desi Girl
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