210. DESI GIRL AND P. DIDDY’S RESIDENTIAL REPRODUCTION

Dr. Froggy and I have been chatting pretty regularly --- about twice a week. We mostly talk about hockey and the construction of his house, which was nice until he said, “I was watching MTV Cribs and saw P. Diddy’s house and modeled mine after his.” If this works out with Dr. Froggy I’m going to have to lie about my education. I majored in architecture, schooled in a pretty prestigious program. And while I am not a great designer, I will surely be mocked by fellow colleagues for living a rapper’s replica.

Ganesh

Dr. Froggy has also been a nice distraction. Rohit has Desmoids Tumor, which has to be surgically removed. His mother still doesn’t know and I know Meera has to be worried. From the articles Rohit sent me, I have learned the tumor arises from the cells involved with the formation of muscle, fibrous and nerve tissue. The tumor is uncommon and locally aggressive, which means it can grow and destroy healthy tissue and even bones. Luckily these tumors cannot metastasize, but the damn thing is the size of a football. I have never prayed so hard to Ganesh, the remover of obstacles, as I have these last few weeks.

Email to Rohit:
Email from Desi Girl:
How are you? Need anything?

Email to Desi Girl:
Email from Rohit:
Thanks, but no. Maybe you can ask Meera to hang out. I think she needs to get away from me...

I cannot even imagine what they are going through.

Email to Rohit:
Email from Desi Girl:
I can do that! I was just thinking that we have not had alone time in months. Do you know the date of the surgery? Maybe I can entice Meera with a Big Onion Tour or toss a Frisbee in the park. (Let me be VERY clear about this, I am an indoor girl. My idea of athletics is going to the Metrodome to eat nachos and pretzels. Or mall sports like competitive bargain shopping for shoes. I am also ridiculously uncoordinated when it comes to physical education. Only for a VERY good friend would I stuff myself into shorts (the most hideous garment ever invented) and willing flail about Central Park trying to catch objects that are being thrown directly at me.

Email to Desi Girl:
Email from Rohit:
Surgery is scheduled for June 9th. I will be in the hospital for 3-4 days. I am in pain that comes and goes. It is aggressive which is why it must be removed (along with one of the ‘packs’ of my non visible 6-pack). Actually, this is all a ruse to get the insurance company to cover my liposuction bill…I like to think outside the box..

Clearly the tumor has not affected Rohit’s sharp and quippy sense of humor. And luckily I don’t leave for Minnesota until June 14 so I will be able to visit him and be a support to Meera.