Despite the computer’s inability to properly run two programs at once, I cobble together a system to write emails. It requires logging in and out of Word and email in a completely inefficient and mind-numbing manner, taking four times as long to do anything. But it is better than nothing.
I sit down in front of the computer, careful not to spill my wine, and hold the phone to my ear. I am talking to a tech wizard friend who troubleshoots in IT for a profession. “When was the last time the computer worked?” the friend asks. He is also my brother’s fraternity brother and a former co-worker. “Saturday, but even then it was weird,” I reply and take another big gulp of wine. Tapan and I have our date tonight, 7:00 pm on Upper West Side at Cafe Frieda, the same place I met Mr. Mustachio (Post 25). I really shouldn't be going on a date with anyone. My tension has been wound so tightly that I have had a headache for two days. Nor should I be drinking before meeting Tapan, but this crisp Sauvignon Blanc is delicious.
“What were you doing? Downloading porn?” the friend asks. I unexpectedly laugh really hard, the first time in days. “No. I wish. That would be more interesting. I was trying to open the BBC’s homepage,” I reply. “What is it doing now?” the friend asks. “Hhhmm, the scan just finished and it says I have 250 Trojan Horses,” I reply. “Yeeeeah, okay…whatever you downloaded is lethal,” the friend begins and sighs. “You’re gonna need a professional,” he says. “Oh like Geek Squad?” I ask. The friend groans, “Is that your only choice? Don’t you know any desi engineers?” he asks. “Nope,” I reply.
“Well Geek Squad used to be great,” the friend explains. “But then Best Buy bought them out and their service went down the tubes.” This actually brings about a bigger issue for me. If I choose to work with the Geek Squad I’m going to have to drag a 40-pound computer 120 blocks on public transport. “But before you get tech help, buy a wireless router and install it,” the friends instructs.
Uhm, has he met me? He wants me to get a what? And then do what? Under my watch, the PC contracted the cyber plague. Should I really be the one to buy and install anything to it?