Sunday, December 19, 2010


“This is a bad idea. You’re not in a good place and he's not right for you,” Siobhan cautions. I shift the phone and sigh. We’re “discussing” my upcoming Town and Country “date”. “Look, I’ve been where you are. Almost every woman has a ‘Town and Country’. And every woman would agree that getting rid of him was the best thing she ever did. So I think the sooner you disengage from him, the better. What do you really know about him anyway?" she asks. I respond with silence. “Okay, I know you don’t want to hear this…so let’s do this in reverse," she suggests. I'm two french fries short of  a Happy Meal to think I'm going to win an argument with a well educated, highly intelligent, corporate lawyer, but I'm persistently plucky and reply with, "Fine, let's.”

“So what’s going to happen on this date?” she asks. “What?” I ask. She's taken me by surprise, which I should have expected. “What is going to happen on this date,” she repeats. “Ahhh, date stuff,” I reply slowly, thinking about EVERY word I utter, knowing the wrong one will lead her to pounce and close her argument. “Uh-huh, what would that include?” Siobhan nudges. “Dinner,” I reply, believing one word answers will be my saving grace. “Then what?” she asks. “We’ll talk and maybe have an after dinner drink,” I reply. “Where will you have a drink?” she asks. “Depends where we have dinner,” I reply. I tuck the phone under my chin and open and email from Tapan, a V-E-R-Y nice man. Why doesn’t he have the same uncontrollable electric effect on me that Town and Country does? Is it possible that I don’t want to be happy? Is Desi Girl a self-saboteur?

Email from Tapan: Hey Desi Girl, we missed you at the puja. Swamiji was asking how you are. He’s still in town and I told him I have your computer. He’s hoping we can have dinner one night. Which segues into, when do you want to pick up the PC?
Email from Desi Girl: Hey Taps, SOOOO sorry we could not join. It was hectic with the family here, nice but hectic. Would love to have dinner, let me know what works and I’ll meet you there. I am sure you would like to me get that PC off your hands!
Email from Tapan: I don’t mind the PC I have plenty of space in the apartment. I thought you might be missing it! See you soon.

“You’re mad, right?” Siobhan asks, forcing me back into our live conversation. “No, I'm not. You're my friend, I know you care about me. But I can’t help how I feel about him. I try to stop, but I can’t,” I share. Now she sighs and finally says, “This is what I think will happen. He’ll take you do dinner, suggest drinks at his house and because you're vulnerable, you’ll end up sleeping with him. He’ll blow you off with his ‘I’m busy with work,’ routine and your life will spectacularly explode all around you. And it will take a LONG LONG LONG time for you to move on. This hunt and retreat is a pattern with him, and you deserve more. And I will sit on the phone with you until tomorrow morning talking you out of this date.”


My Courageous Life said...

OH S...where were you when I was going through this? I wish you were writing this blog then.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear My Courageous Life -

I agree. I think I should have started writing this a long time back too. And I should listened to my gut - then I doubt I would have ended up in this romantic Titanic, longing for someone who does not long for me ... boo ....

Desi Girl