To purge Town and Country from my system I am doing EVERYTHING I can to distract myself. Yesterday Siobhan said I must not want a healthy relationship because I am not seeking one if I keep acting on my attraction to Town and Country. So last night I emailed Tapan to retrieve my computer and meet the Swami. Tapan asked me to join them for dinner tomorrow and I agreed. And oh, in my weekly call this morning to Dr. Froggy I mentioned my upcoming-Tapan-meeting-to-collect-the-PC and how I thought Tapan might be interested in me. Now Dr. Froggy and I have a date next week (I suspected this might jump start the cardiologist into action).
Because I have taken an emotional beating, I need to be around someone who is going to build me back up, restore my faith in me --- Meera.
“I don’t get this guy,” Meera says as we're walking west through the 100s to yoga. I groan and say, “Me either. But I have to stop talking to him, thinking about him, everything.” I avoid a rock and fall back into step with her. “But can you? This has been going on for months!” she says. “Ugh. I know. But how am I ever going to meet a nice man when he’s around?” I ask and take a drink from my water bottle. “The problem is that Town and Country’s a nice guy, Desi Girl. He could have totally taken advantage of you, but instead he basically said he didn’t want to use for sex….” Meera states. She is indeed correct, which is the quintessential problem with Town and Country. He is not a jerk. He has never led me on, has always been honest and operated with integrity.
We get to the yoga studio and for the next 90 minutes, I shift my body through downward facing dog, chaturanga, the crow and finally savasana. When I’m done, I feel a little more in tune with myself, and very aware that if anything in my life is going to get better, that I have to be the agent of change.