Massi, Bangalore Cousin and I are seated across the desk from the pandit in his office. He has just performed the final puja and I’m relieved. It was nerve wracking to sit quietly (quiet, not one of my strengths) five days in a row for 30 minutes listening to half a dozen pandits chanting the gauri-shankar mantra hoping to dislodge my matrimonial star disaster. It is also a little embarrassing. Sure my stars are out of my Type-A-control- freak control (believe me if I could have done anything to fix my stars I would have). But I couldn’t help feeling a little like an unmarriable loser during the sessions.
“I have completed her pendant..." the pandit begins. It irks me that calls me "her". I have a freaking name. He has entered it a billion times into his pandit program, so he should freaking know it. "...with pearl, coral and yellow sapphire. For peace, depression and prosperity. Please have her put this on a chain and the stones must be touching the skin,” the pandit explains. I take off a plain gold chain from my neck and Bangalore Cousin helps me put it back on. “How does it look?” I ask. Even if it is medicinal jewelry, I want it to look nice. “Looks fine,” Bangalore Cousin says. Massi slides on her glasses and inspects the pendant. She nods, pats my hand and flashes a supportive smile.
“We have two boys who we wish for you to chart her stars against,” Bangalore Cousin says and slides a piece of paper with the date and place of birth for both Dr. Froggy and Town and Country. Massi doesn't seem that surprised that there are men in my life. The pandit takes the information and enters it into the computer program.
“Hhhmm. This one is an excellent match. The stars are good. He’s very successful and has a capacity to earn. She will be very happy with him,” the pandit says. The three of us are silent. “Which boy is good?” Bangalore Cousin asks slowly. Holy shit, this is it. “Dr. Froggy,” the pandit replies. Bangalore Cousin sighs and I almost choke on air. “This one though, very bad match. His stars are…” It cannot be a good sign if stars render a pandit speechless. Finally someone with worse stars than mine. “…very bad. This one is no good; this boy has lots of troubles. I don’t think you should pursue this one. I don’t see this one ending well for you,” the pandit says and looks me square in the eye.
Finally, the rule of fate. For some reason I feel better knowing, being told, that despite the lustful desire, Town and Country is bad idea. I feel ready to focus on developing a relationship with Dr. Froggy.