311. A RETURN TO DESI DATING

“I need to know every detail about the date,” Meera says. “I’m not on speaker phone am I?” I ask. The phone is tucked under my chin and I’m wandering around the apartment surface cleaning and dusting. She laughs, “No, why?” “Because this may not be a PG-13 conversation…” I reply. “What? Why? Did you hook-up with him?” she demands. “Yes,” I reply. “Oh, my God! How was it?” she demands. “Very disappointing – he didn’t know what he was doing,” I mutter. “Can you teach him?” Meera asks. “Can’t he just know?” I ask.

“Hhmmm…” she says and falls silent. I know exactly what she’s wondering. “If I didn’t sleep with Town and Country – someone I am actually attracted to, there is no way I am sleeping with Dr. Froggy,” I share. “Well that’s a problem – did he notice you weren’t into him?” Meera asks. I groan. “I don’t know what he noticed. The whole thing was awkward. He got one room, with a king size bed – but requested an aerobed,” I begin. “Well that was cool of him,” Meera says. “I know – but it was awkward. I didn’t mind sharing the bed, but I didn’t want to be obligated to having sex with him." “Men don’t think that way!” she snaps. “I know that! Which is how this whole thing happened,” I reply. “Okay, wait, wait – start at the beginning of the bedroom part,” Meera says.

I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut. Before Dr. Froggy and I hooked up I am pretty sure he was more into me than I was into him. Now, rightly so, I don’t know. “Okay…well I went into the bathroom – alone – and put on my jammies,” I begin. “What kind were they?” Meera asks. I snort, I know what she will say about this before I utter a word, “Cotton, two-piece full pants and a long-sleeved button-down – the kind that men wear.” “No comment,” she mutters and then adds, “That is the un-sexiest thing I have ever heard.” “Well I get cold,” I reply. “Well – first you’re from Minnesota! And he was there to keep you warm – anyway – then what happened?” Meera asks.

“He put on flannel pants and a tee-shirt and walked towards the aerobed and I felt bad and said the bed was big enough for two people.” Meera groans. I continue, “And I guess he took that as a sign to hit it…” “And, then what?” she asks. I imagine her sitting on her pale green couch, under a lightweight blanket, petting her dog with her free hand and cringing. “Then we were kissing,” I reply. “How was that?” she asks. “It was okay - his lips were dry…and I remember him saying he knew we’d have chemistry…” “But you didn’t!”  Meera exclaims. “I know…” I mutter. “What did you say to him?” she demands. “I agreed because I didn’t want o hurt his feelings, which was stupid, but for the rest of the trip my stomach was in knots. He’s nice, I’m not attracted to him, but being with him isn’t complicated like it is with Town and Country,” I confess.

“What happened to Town and Country” Meera asks. “While I was boarding my flight he asked me out for a ‘date’.” “And?” Meera asks. “I texted him when I got back to the City – four days ago – and now I’m being ignored,” I reply.  “What an arse!” Meera snaps. “It’s like he KNOWS when I have moved on and then plop, he comes back and makes my life a mess. But how can I blame him? I’m the one with no self control,” I mutter. “Hhmmm, true. But remember the pandit said to focus on Dr. Froggy and I think you should,” Meera says.

She’s right. Dr. Froggy is a nice man and for once, I should submit to fate and destiny, and let time figure this out. Perhaps I am scared and stalling, after being single for so long, the thought of sharing is intimidating. Because the only other choice is square one, a return to desi dating - and I'm not sure I am ready to go back out there again.