“Is he a nice human being?” Bangalore Cousin asks about Dr. Froggy in a somewhat impatient tone. We have been playing phone tag for almost a week so I can debrief her on the weekend. “Well yea, he's NICE. I just don’t know if nice is enough for me?” I refrain from telling her I polled my urban family and half of them think I should pursue Dr. Froggy and half of them don’t.
Which leads to further unrest - mostly because I don't know why I'm being so seventh grade about this. Asking my friends who I should date/marry? What the hell is wrong with me.“This needs to stop if you want to get married. You aren’t getting hundreds of offers. He’s a nice guy, you need to make more of an effort and settle down,” Bangalore Cousin says.
Now I'm pissed. It is one thing to know you're f-ed in the head, it's another to be told you are. Well actually I am not f-ed in the head, my head is rational, my heart is not and therefore derailing my mind. I fall silent because I cannot argue with her. She’s right, my dance card is empty. But this is my fault. I let the possible possibility of something somehow working out with Town and Country cloud my better judgment. Now I'm whipped into a state of conflict. My heart pines for someone who is as unpredictable as the weather, while my mind says move forward with Dr. Froggy, it will work itself out. God knows the world is filled with women who have married for a lifestyle and found love.
But what happens if I’m moving along, solidifying my relationship with Dr. Froggy and Town and Country comes back, not just for a tryst, but for the real thing. Then what? What if my parents have met Dr. Froggy’s? And what if I like his parents even more than I already do? And then what? I will suddenly listen to my traitorous heart? Break up Dr. Froggy? What if we're engaged? Or four days away from getting married with 500 guests en route to Minnesota in January?
This cannot go on any longer – I’m going to make myself mental and end up in Bellevue. I need to pull the trigger and make a decision once and for all. To Dr. Froggy or Not.