Monday, April 4, 2011


After I finish changing my ticket and extending my trip (for the second time) with an incredibly nice and kind airline professional, I swivel around in my office chair a few times and stop to stare at the computer. Now that I am going to be in Minnesota for another two weeks I need to email my volunteer counterpart (Haynes Thomas Taylor) and let her know my arrival back to New York is yet again delayed.

Town and Country’s birthday is coming up in a few days. I have been debating if I want to wish him. Siobhan and Ainsley would have my head on a platter if I instigated contact with him. And my life cannot take any more drama right now – so all Town and Country avoidance is best. But what I really need and would like would is for Dr. Froggy to call me or send me a note and let me know he is thinking of me. 

I really don't think I am asking for that much. I mean what is going on? Is he self absorbed and clueless? Or is he a jerk? Or do my feelings not matter? We have YET to have a phone conversation about my dad’s health – and you would think as a health care provider he could muster up SOME interest. For the love of Ganesh, I was interested in his house, and I am NOT even an architect.

So I decide to write Dr. Froggy a note (something that my guy friends cringe and shudder at the thought of). But I don’t think it makes sense to play game and pussy-foot around (Meera might disagree). But I am putting my cards on the table. I’ve nothing to lose, and all to gain.

Email to Dr. Froggy:
Hey - Help me out here, I’m a confused. We exchanged a few lines via email a few weeks ago, Dad’s still in the hospital, I’m still in Minnesota and I have not heard a word from you. I have no idea what is going on with you, but here is my hand. If you are interested in really making a go of this, let me know. Then next weekend when you are off, we can schedule a time to discuss moving ahead. If you are not interested, let me know as well, and then I will officially move on. ~ Desi Girl   
Let’s see what happens now.


Anonymous said...

Hello Desi Girl,

I just wanted to say that I stumbled upon your site less than a week ago, and have been hooked ever since. In fact, this sounds very silly, but I was addicted to reading everything you wrote, that I stayed up and kept reading from my iphone long after hubby had gone to bed!

Your blog is appealing to me, as I'm a 34 year old, punjabi woman, born and raised in England, but living in Canada. I've gone through many similar experiences on the "dating scene". In fact, many of the dates you described brought back some, ummm, not so wonderful memories of bad dates!!

I ended up marrying a punjabi brahmin, whereas I'm punjabi sikh, jatt. That in itself had its own trials.

I think every woman has her own Town and Country. Funny enough, I've been married for a while now but thoughts of my "Town and Country" can pop up just out of the blue. Funny how some people can leave such an impression on us.

Just wanted to say thank you for a great blog. Keep them coming PLEASE!!!

Hope your dad gets well real soon. I know from first hand experience how hard it is to deal with the stress and all the emotions of a sick parent. My mom was really sick, and I felt like my life was over. But thank goodness, all is well now. I hope and pray that your dad will be at home with you guys soon.

Take care.


Another Kiran In NYC said...

Yaaay Good Girl! That was a direct hit note. Clear, concise, comprehensible and a finite time line. Me likey for the likes of Froggy!!! If Froggy does not appreciate bullet points then he does not know what is good for him and his needs.

Town and Country (if you didn't end up with him anyway) will haunt you forever at idle moments. That is a good thing. It is for me anyway. Usually jolts you back to your present happy reality or allows you an opportunity to have silly day dream with a happy smile on your face. Works for me.

Sara said...

@Desi Girl -- Yay! I've never been good at waiting or games...I pretty much went caveman style and laid traps for my now-husband (in the guise of study dates and musicals rented from the library), then dragged him around until he married me. I tend to go for the nerdy, shy-about-girls types, so I've accepted that with this population, a girl can grow old waiting for him to move forward.

@Sandeep -- I agree that everyone has a Town and Country...although happily married, I still think of mine and even entertain thoughts of googling him to see whatever happened to him (but decide it's a line I don't care to cross).

Adventurous Ammena said...

straight to the point... you should have done this a LONG time ago love... do let us know what he says.. personally, I think hes not worth it

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous (Sandeep),

Oh my, we're Sikh on Dad's side and I was on a LONG LONG LONG time ago - oof and that was an issue being half Hindu.

And I dont think that you are silly, your note is rather reassuring that I have some skill/talent in writing. I do think it resonates with desi women bc the issues cut really close to home and for women in general bc I think regardless of ethnicity we all have the same experiences. So I will take addicted!

Bad dates - well who cannot relate? Man or woman?!?!?!

Thank you so much for your note of confidence in the blog, I will keep writing :) I promise, bc there is more to say! And thanks for your kind words about Dad!

More soon.
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Another Kiran in NYC,

Thanks for your note and faith. It takes time I think, bc you dont want to be boorish, not attractive on a woman. But I know I take some time to hit that point where I think "enough is enough."

How much can you put in and forward and not see any fruits of your labor. I dont mean this negatively, it is like the checklist - we are talking about someone you marry and build a life with. And you want to be in sync (if I may quote you) with that person.

More soon!
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Sara -

I too like them a little nerdy. Believe it not, Town and Country is a little nerdy (and a little hot, hot, hot) but he is a techie geek and he can be a dork ... swoon.

Yes you are right I can totally be 80 before my nerd realizes he loves me! Oh well - I will employ your tactics :)

Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Adventurous Ammena -

You crack me up. I do promise to tell you how this and everything else go :) and I agree, it should not be this hard! I mean really, if dating is so hard, what happens with the real stuff life throws at you?

Desi Girl