Sunday, May 8, 2011

357. WHY I COME TO CHEZ RoMe


“I need a flow chart,” Meera says from her couch and shakes her head. I have just given her my desi dating update – Chai Walla, Uday, You Won’t Regret it, three men from Queens and Possible-Mate-from-Chicago. Rohit is channel surfing sports, petting the dog, and pretending like we’re annoying. But I know, he loves the entertainment. Why else would he subject himself to the regular doses of the misadventures of Meera and Desi Girl?

“So how are you feeling?” I ask Meera from behind the computer that they keep at the dining table. They have started telling everyone that they are pregnant. I, of course, have known for several weeks, six to be exact. And contrary to popular belief, chatty Desi Girl can keep a secret. “Good, tired, but fine,” Meera replies.

When they told me they were expecting, the three of us were getting ready to attend a birthday party for twins, kids of another college friend. I remember being excited for them, hugging them in the elevator, and then saying, “Oh no! There goes my social life!” To which Rohit said, “No way. The two of you can go out and I’ll stay home and watch football with my son.” Meera is completely fine with having a son, she’s more of a tomboy than me. And if I can be honest, I am secretly hoping they have a daughter. But we don't know the baby's gender so we're all just speculating.

“Here is the profile for Chai Walla,” I say. Meera gets up off the couch and comes over to my side. “Wanna sit down?” I ask. “No, I’m fine,” she says and begins reviewing the profile. “Oh my God! He’s SOOOO good looking. Hot!” Meera says. “Hey!” Rohit says from the couch. See, I told you he listens to us. Meera rolls her eyes, then stops, and points at the screen. “Wait, he’s divorced. Did you see that?” Meera asks.

“Yes, but I am dating outside my box,” I reply.  “Single men aren’t working for me either. Town and Country is not interested…” I begin. Meera cuts me off, “Oh he is interested." “…in something he is not getting from me," I interject. “And Reindeer – well he was gay. Or revolted by me…” I say. “You went out with Reindeer for four months, he was not revolted. He was gay,” Rohit says.

This is why I come to Chez RoMe (where Rohit meets Meera, RoMe). They know me here. They get me. They love me. This is one lucky kid. And I still hoping it’s a girl!

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