384. I WOULD RATHER BE LATE THAN IMPROPERLY GROOMED

I’m having another pesky little melt-down. It does not help that I woke up to find another Town and Country “how are you?” text.

What part of “I am not responding to you” means “I am ignoring you” does he not understand? Whatever. I don’t have time for this Town and Country nonsense.  I have more pressing issues. I need a cute, super fabu outfit – one that goes from day date in the City, to night date on Broadway.

I really want to wear my brown and black checked dressy capris and a low-cut (but not trashy) black vee-neck tee-shirt. Unfortunately, I cannot get these damn pants on beyond my ahem, ass. An ass that seems to have expanded over night. UGH! I don’t remember eating like a gluttonous piglet last night. And we didn’t have sushi so I cannot blame soy sauce.

I whip open the closet and rifle through the black section of the wardrobe. I have a cute skirt that I can top with a tank and then add a cardi to dress it up for an evening date. Ugh, since I built my whole outfit around the capris (which did not require me to shave my legs beyond the knee) I now have to hop back in the tub and shave again. *Sigh*.  

I text Possible-Mate-From-Chicago and let him know that I will be tardy. He texts back and says okay. I mean, really what is he going to say? No? First,  I’m the one who made the program and plan for the day! And second he is nice and chill, Mr. Go-With-The-Flow.

I feel a little bad for being late, but that is better than being improperly groomed …  I need to be adorable, because, I mean, what if he is THE ONE?