Wednesday, July 6, 2011


The next night I am sitting around, doing nothing, the telly is on, I am debating if I want to read a book or go for a walk. Breathe in some fresh New York air, watch the traffic crawl across the GWB.

The phone rings and I look at the number, a 718 area code. Hhhmm. I decide to forgo the walk and see who is calling.

“Hello?” I ask. “Hey, Desi Girl, it’s Flyboy, is this an okay time to talk?” he asks. “Sure,” I reply. “So how are you?” he asks. “I am good, thanks,” I reply. “So what do you do for fun?” he asks. Ugh. Sometimes I dislike this question as much as I dislike my chubby thighs. Do you really share all your hopes and dreams with a perfect stranger who cyber grilled you last night on your area code’s validity? Sometimes I wonder if I over share and scare men away. Or maybe the men just don’t have the moxie to keep up with me? Or perhaps in a past life I was a dreadfully awful mother and wife that in this life I am destined to be neither.

“I volunteer,” I reply. “Really?” he sneers. “What is that tone?” I ask. “I don’t meet a lot of desi girls who care about anything other than their clothes and shoes,” he says. “I care about those things, and my nails – but I also care about my fellow man, woman and child,” I snap back. He roars with laughter. “That is great! I like a girl who pushes back,” he says. Oh, really? Because Flyboy has not seen anything yet! “And for the record, I have several do-good desi girlfriends. Maybe you have fallen into bad company,” I suggest.

“I think you might be right. So what else do you do?” he asks. “I work out, eat with friends…” I reply. “What else?” he asks. “I don’t know – arts and museums,” I reply, rather surprised that I cannot remember my own hobbies. “So how long have you been on this site?” Flyboy asks. Scratch that, I detest this question more than “what do you do for fun?”

“Long enough to date some interesting fellows,” I reply. “Tell me the highlights,” he says. “You mean lowlights?” I ask. He laughs. “Let’s see there was Reindeer, I think he was gay. Then there was the Banker, who is now my friend – who tells me he is not gay and dresses better than I do…” I share. “The Banker is gay,” Flyboy says. “Then there was Mr. Moustachio who had a moustache that was part Hitler and part Magnum PI…” Flyboy is laughing again. “Then there was the hefty cardiologist…who else…”

“Any bald guys?” Flyboy asks. “Yep, a few of those, but I don’t care about that. Looks only need to be attractive enough to the beholder.” “Hhhmm, you’re different than most desi girls,” Flyboy says. “What does that mean?” I ask. “They are all chasing the dream…” “Upper Middle Class in the Suburbs?” I ask. “That’s right,” he says. “I like the City,” I reply. “Me too,” he says. “Where do you live?” I ask. “Long Island,” he replies. “And that’s not the suburbs?” I ask. “I am really close to Queens,” he says and then seems annoyed."It sounds like you are selling the same dream," I reply. "I am not and I am close to Queens - one town over," he argues.

“Well I’m a City girl,” I reply. “We’ll see,” he replies in a tone that reminds me to keep my guard up with him for the next few conversations.


Anonymous said...

i think you have enough in this phone conversation to not waste your time meeting him! why spend time talking about previous dates, proclaiming stereotypes of desi women, when he should be sharing who he is?? UGH! i know you said you wanted to find a desi man...but seems like you have enough dates to know online desi sites are not the way to meet desi men who know how to date...please tell me, speeding to 2 years ahead (ie NOW), you have stopped! :)

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

Ugh. You are so right that I should have listened to my gut. Just wait and see how this unfolds.

I think I SOOOOO badly wanted to marry a desi guy (why I am not sure, sure my parents wanted it, but you know when push comes to shove, I shove, so I cannot blame my parents, I wanted to marry desi too). I sometimes wonder if I thought I'd be a failure for not bringing brown home - so messed up in the head way to think considering I grew up in Minnesota and how many non-desi boyfriends?

So I think I tolerated desi boys behaving badly that I would have NEVER allowed non-desis to do - and no I dont do that anymore :) - see I can be taught! The re-education of desi girl :)

Desi Girl