Sunday, August 7, 2011

422. BOYS WERE NOT A SCIENCE THAT I WAS SCHOOLED IN


At 2.00 pm, 30 minutes before my lunch date, I am standing in a line (or as New Yorkers say, standing on line) at Barnes and Noble, waiting to return my book. In addition to shoes, handbags, totes, and rings – I am a bit of a book collector.

There are about five people in front of me, so this should take about 10 minutes, leaving me with 20 minutes to go 20 blocks, which is enough time for me to get to Turkuaz and change my shoes by 2.30 pm. Now, Meera would insist I show up just a tad late. Which maybe I would – if I wanted to make an impression. Though when I showed up late to my first Town and Country date – he didn’t like it – so who knows what men like – clearly boys were not a science I was schooled in.

Just when I get to the counter my phone beeps. A text from Flyboy. I am parking the car.

Okay – then. I am not sure what the appropriate response is. “Good boy” “Well done” “Sounds good” -- so I decide not to reply and meet him at the scheduled time. And now I am glad I’m showing up on time. I won't be able to deal with him texting if I don't arrive on time.

I get out of the bookstore and begin speed-walking to the restaurant. At 2.15 pm my phone beeps again. Hhhmm. I check. Another text from Flyboy: I am here, where are you?

He is 15 minutes early. Ugh. I stop and text back: En route. 15 mins out. Will be there by 2.30 pm – the scheduled time. He texts back: What direction are you coming from? UGH! If I tell him the truth, from the south, is he going to ask me 1,000 questions why? So for self-preservation, I lie (I know I am bad) and text back: On bus. See you at 2.30 pm.

Two blocks away I change out of my flip flops and into my heels. When I get to Turkuaz, I find Flyboy pacing outside. Okay, he’s tall, slim, but looks nothing like his photos. In his photos he is cute. This is not to say he is not attractive, but he looks better in his photos. Photoshop maybe? I can say I have never doctored my looks in a photo – cut people out, yes. But enhanced? No.

In person Flyboy has a long, broad forehead, sunken eyes, really round cheeks, like Theodore, one of the chipmunks – Alvin, Simon and Theodore, and a small mouth. Oh well – I am no supermodel either.

“Hey Flyboy,” I say. “Hi, I was wondering where you were,” he says. I look at my watch and then look at him. “I have one minute to spare,” I say. “Oh. But I have been waiting for 30 minutes,” he says. It takes everything I have NOT to sigh.“Okay, well shall we go in?” I ask. 

Ack! Why is it my fault that he came so early? I just want to get this date over with.Not a good sign ...

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

aaaaaahhhhhhhhh He makes me feel stressed lol
Milly xx

Anonymous said...

I love the chipmunk photo. Too funny. Is this guy a new yorker?

Samba said...

A few posts back you confirmed meeting at 2:30pm... who was late?

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dearest Milly - he is so stressful! Just wait ....

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Anonymous -

He is a New Yorker! One of the car-ed. I am not a New Yorker, one of the carless - by choice! DG no drive!!!

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samba -

No one was late, I think I typed in the wrong time. I better check with my calendar and fix my mistake!

Thanks for the catch!

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Samba -

Fixed it so they are all timed correctly. Thanks again!!!

xo,
Desi Girl

TheBookRemedy said...

Juuuust a little creepy. Can't wait to know what happens!

jnkparmar said...

He irritated me just by reading your blog, haha!! Can't wait to hear just how 'strange' this guy really is!

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear TheBookRemedy -

Yes - he was a little more "in your face" than you want a date to be. The best is YET to come - re: creepy factor.

xo,
Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear JNKParmar -

Second hand irritation! ha! :)

Juuuuust wait ....

xo,
Desi Girl