Thursday, September 29, 2011


I wake up the next day, at 2 in the afternoon, which sounds late, but not really when you consider I was awake until 6.00 am.  I take a shower, dry my hair, put on make-up and pull on my clothes --- denim pencil skirt, a black vee-neck tee-shirt and my tall black boots.

Two hours later I lock the apartment, board the A train and brave the Herald Square Macy’s to make my return. I bought an INC Dress – but I am taking it back because I have the same dress in a different color. And I think having $80 in savings is a better decision.

I wander into the shoe department and nothing, and I mean nothing jumps out at me and says “Desi Girl, you must buy me!”. I breeze through the pajamas and bathrobes – and decide against buying anything because I don’t want to carry it over to Town and Country’s.

Around 6.00 pm I stop by a pizza place and order a cheese slice and Diet Coke. This is one the GREAT things about New York. Slice and soda for $4. I won’t lie – I’d love to be having dinner with Town and Country – but I don’t mind eating alone, eating within my means and being self-sufficient. I have male cousins, whose wives are incapable of taking care of themselves that marriage was going to be their option in life. While I want to get married – I am glad that I am not one of these pathetic (in my opinion) women who married into my family and is now completely dependent on a man.I think it is great to have someone to rely on, but to be totally at their mercy isn't for me.

I toss my paper plate and soda can into the garbage and recycling receptacles and head over to Town and Country’s. I get within a few blocks of his house and realize that I am going to be early. So I text him to find out his ETA. He texts back and says he is home and I can stop by anytime. I pop  a piece of gum into my mouth and walk up his stoop steps and ring the bell. I can hear his footsteps against the floor coming towards the door. This happens when there is nothing inside to absorb the sound. Empty apartments are like that too, hollow, ready to embrace the new tenant, the new life, the new memories, the new.

He opens the door and smiles. He is in jeans and a button-down and $800 brown shoes.  He leans to peck kiss on my cheek but I go for the hug. Awkward. He shuts the door and says, “Nice boots.” “Thanks,” I reply. “Come upstairs and see the leather chairs I bought for the dining room,” he says and heads up the stairs. I pause and inhale deeply before heading up. The stairs have been stripped to their foundation, so just the framework exists, there are no planks to step on. Gingerly I follow Town and Country to the second floor. “They are in the sitting room, there – try one out and tell me what you think. I need to run upstairs,” he says. Fine with me. I am more than happy to not have to go upstairs with him.

I duck into a dusty room where all the furniture is covered in plastic except a dozen chairs with orange-tan leather seats and dark wood backs and legs. The leather is smooth and flawless. And I end up running my hand against several of the chairs. They are buttery, silky, supple. I sit down on the fourth chair and cross my legs. I look up and find Town and Country staring at me. “These are very nice chairs,” I say. “You look very nice on them,” he says. Why does he have to be sexy? “Thank you,” I reply. “So I have some items I’d like you to research, but I am hungry – have you had dinner? I know a nice French place around the corner,” he suggests.

I am not at all hungry.  “Sure I could eat a salad," I say. "Salad? At a French restaurant?” he asks. “Yes, it has been some time since I have had greens,” I reply. “As you wish,” he says.


VIC SEMBI said...

whats wrong with you. the guy sends you a text message that he cant do dinner and then all of a sudden you go through a spiral of depression. (stop of taking advice from girls and FOBS)

maybe he was busy or occupied at the time. I have to say it was a bit harsh but cmon stop overreacting.

You are an emotional wreck you cant be all bi polar because of some guys slightest reaction (are you really that hyper sensitive).

See I told you clam up, every time he tries to make a move you give him the cold shoulder. He's trying, give him break, I mean he was trying to give you a peck on the check and not grope you and you go for the hug.

listen when a guys are stressed out they loose there charm. When we loosen up a bit it comes back. Im like the same when I am stressed with work, i cant even be bothered to approach a girl, when i am relaxed and not stressed out i can approach girls all day long.

it seems that its too pull and push with you, its both of you in away because you guys react oppositely.

when he shy's away you pursue, when he pursue you shy away

VIC SEMBI said...

Apologies next time i should proof read, that was very sloppy of me, just got back from work and I'm pretty tired.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Vic -

I know. I know. But I have no idea what to expect or think most days. I feel like when I think I know which way this is going - it goes another way.

And I do clam up - and how I was supposed to anticipate that he would kiss rather than hug? I mean he can harsh, so then I think I shd hang back and I dont think it is out of line to think that he then thinks of me a friend rather than someone to date.

I also wish I did not like so much - then this would not be so left than right.

I understand that when he is stressed he can become withdrawn. I also think someone who knows him more intimately and I dont mean a lover, but a life long friend or his parents - would know this - I do feel like I am at a loss and trying to figure out how to put a puzzle together with my eyes closed - a little more trial and error.

With that said - I hear ya - and no biggie, typos :)

Desi Girl

guddu said...

I agree with VIC SEMBI, what is wrong with you. You like him, then why don't you allow him to kiss you or do any thing. This way no guys is gonna approach you, if you are gonna be so uptight, forget about marrying you. You seem to complain and hyperact for everything a normal person does. You have to change your attitude towards everything, life and your stubbornness and be a little easy going. Then love will come to you, you don't have to make so much effort. Let him pursue, don't stop him. You don't have to be incontrol all the time, everytime.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Guddu -

Nothing is wrong me - thanks for asking. I hear ya on the hyper sensitive, but some people are laid back and others are not. I don't being stubborn about my heart is a negative, totally fine if you do.

But I get these hot and cold messages from him too. Every time I am okay with being friends he does something non-friends - this is a two way street, but somehow it became a one way and I ended up on the sidewalk.

So clearly I need to do something.