Tuesday, October 11, 2011


I can’t believe this. Desi Brother doesn’t seem to be reacting.

“How are they going to get around? He can’t walk and she can’t drive. And what about all the stairs? And uneven pavement…What if he falls down? How are they getting luggage off the conveyor belt in Delhi?” I ramble. I just finished talking to my mother and immediately called Desi Brother about this India trip.


“Say something!” I yelp into the phone. He sighs. “This is why we don’t tell you anything. You over-react,” he mutters. For some reason, in my immediate family, I am the healthy one – despite being the stressed out one with the penchant for drink. So all of them, at one time or another, had some health issue that they kept from me.

For someone who is usually pretty tough, their health issues reduce me into a puddle. I guess you can always buy a new pair of jeans, but I am not getting another mother, father or brother this go around. And frankly, I lucked out with destiny.

“Look, they are our parents, not our kids. I realize they are slowing down. I realize their health is what it is. I realize that they are not 40. This is life. Am I thrilled about this? No. But they gotta do what they gotta do."

Ack. Why must he be so calm and rational?

“Fine. I won’t say another word. But I get to worry,” I reply with defeat. “Deal,” Desi Brother says.


VIC SEMBI said...

So the question on my mind is what happened afterwards with T&C.

Did he walk you home, did you guys get dessert.

To be honest he was on the money and it seems that he had thought this through more then you have.

I think him telling you that he does not see himself settling down here in NYC, you took it personally. Guys do that they are always weighingn him there options (good thing and can be a bad thing too).

Im surprised you didnt close on him telling that you do like him in some kind of capacity.

I think when he put u on the spot about the reason for marriage is that kids can have a name, I guess you started to clam up.

After that what did the conversation move on to, or did it just die.

Why dont you tell this guy how u feel about him, in a subtle direct way not in a "i want to get married to you" kind of way.

VIC SEMBI said...

i dont think you can leave this dangling for so long.

VIC SEMBI said...

i think the reason why your parents are going, I think your dad wants to retire there, thats why they dont really have a valid reason to tell you anything.

he can leave the family business in your brothers hands.

the reason why they are not telling you is because you guys would try to stop him

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Vic -

No he did not walk me home and no dessert. I am sure he has thought this through. And I think it fine, what he wants, I had never thought of it in the way he has - and clearly he has put more thought into it, for sure I was on the spot.

And in speaking to him, I did rethink kids - and I dont know that I must have them. And I didn't tell - what does he need a brick to backhand him? If he doesn't know he is stupid (and I know you are going to lecture me about this, so I am ready sock it to me!)

And we are not done yet - not dangling, just wait.

Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Vic -

Well I would love it if he retired and left the business to my brother. Desi Dad has slogged since he was 9. I want them to enjoy their life.

And well - he can move to India, my mother wont, and since they have been "together" since 1961 - yea, he will not be moving to India any time soon :) he is going to stay where she says :) - he cannot live without her, and I dont mean that in a bad way, they are a unit and they need each other. And I want to want someone too!

Desi Girl