Sunday, November 6, 2011


While I am debating whether to write back about why I think monogamy works – and I think it works, because I believe in it, he writes back.

Email from Town and Country: What did you think?
Email from Desi Girl: (Because clearly my feelings for him are not in check, I take his comment personally) If you agree that monogamy doesn’t work, then are you going to have casual flings? Or not date at all? And I suppose if that is what you want, you should do it. This is New York – anything is possible and someone is up for anything. If you ask me, I think this is about fear, because we all fear something right? For you, you don’t want to be vulnerable or responsible. For me I want to feel secure finally, I want my insomnia to go away and grow old with someone and laugh at their silly jokes and quirks. I am okay with every day not being perfect so long as try. So I guess I am not okay with sharing.

I hit send and sit back in my chair, taking a long sip of my Grande Skim Latte from ‘bux. Since he does not like to be challenged I am sure he won’t write back. Which is fine, I don’t feel like dealing with this today. I am hiding from unpacking 50 boxes and waiting for the cable man to come.

Email from Town and Country: Men are from mars...what you want is 1/2 the story. Don't forget that.

Now I am pissed. Does he plan on making me agree with his point? Because that is not happening.

Email from Desi Girl:  Like I said -- you should do what you want. If you want to be a swinger you should. But of course, be safe. I understand that what I want maybe 1/2 the story so I seek someone who wants something similar, right, like you do. However, I think the men are from mars is a cop out for two reasons (a) it is divisive it plays women and men against each other and (b) an allowance for action, it is like an excuse for men to have sex with multiple partners.  But to your point, if you want to be polygamous you should be honest, like you are. Just like I am being honest – I don’t want to be polygamous and remember all those names --- a majority of men have no idea what they are doing in bed anyway.

Email from Town and Country: I'm not judging here...just saying that this is tough territory for anyone.

What the? Tough? It’s NORMAL to want companionship. I am tired of desi boys getting on a desi matrimonial site and being surprised that I would want to get married, tomorrow, no, eventually yes – eventually I would like to get married. Yeesh. I think I need to move on; these desi men are driving me nuts.

But what sucks is, I know TOTALLY nice and family oriented Indian men. Dad. Desi Brother. Rohit. My mother’s brother. My cousin. I know there are Indian men out there who want what I want. I just don’t understand why and how I ended up being related to all the good guys who set the bar and standard so high that I cannot find a man of equal caliber.


NS said...

DG, hate to say this but when girls in general, n not just desi chicks meet a nice guy, here's what 9 out of 10 say: Oh, he's so nice, so wonderful, but I think I'll just be good friends with him.
Guys say only three words: FML

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear NS -

I dont know what to tell ya, I'd like to meet someone genuine, maybe nice is the wrong word.

Dare I ask what "FML" means ... :)

Desi Girl