247. DESI DATE TO BE CRASHED BY HARLEM’S FINEST

“Have you heard from Dr. Froggy?” Meera asks. “Nope,” I reply and turn on the television. “What? Isn’t he supposed to come today?” Meera demands. She can’t see me, but I roll my eyes. This pre-meeting conversation with Dr. Froggy has gone on for so long that if he bailed, I’d probably throw a ticker tape parade. Being this unexcited to meet someone has to be a bad sign, right?

“Hello? Are you there?” Meera asks. “Yes, I think he’s coming. He hasn’t said differently…” I finally reply and wonder what I should do for the next few hours before my dinner date with Dr. Froggy. “Honey!” I hear Meera yell. “Desi Girl hasn’t HEARD from Dr. Froggy and they have dinner reservations at 9:00 pm...” At first the silence leads me to believe that Rohit is ignoring us. Then I hear Rohit yell, “What? WE HAVE dinner reservations at 9:00 pm, too! What is wrong with this guy?” (See Post 243 where Meera and I decide they should crash the date). Meera gets back on the phone and says, “Well if Dr. Froggy bails you can eat with Rohit, me and Shouldn’t Have Kissed Him.” “Sounds fine to me,” I reply. “I bribed Shouldn’t Have Kissed Him with lobster so he would join us,” Meera explains. “It’s cool with me. I don’t harbor hard feelings over that strange hook-up,” I reply.

“What are you going to wear?” Meera asks. Now this is something I have been debating for SEVERAL days. Two months ago when I wanted to impress the shit out of Dr. Froggy I would have worn my date outfit, black pants, black and white wrap top and heels. I would have been styling my hair all day and fasting for the past two weeks. As I got to know Dr. Froggy and his obsession with material possessions, impressing him became less important because I found him gauche. This is why I give Town and Country his due props for being down-to-earth despite being so successful. I would even venture a bet that Town and Country is wealthier than Dr. Froggy, but doesn’t act like it.

When I finally reply, I say, “my denim pencil skirt, black tee-shirt and turquoise wrap. Hair in a pony-tail.” “I love it, so sophisticated casual. It’s like you’re trying without trying,” Meera says. “Trust me, I am not trying,” I mutter. “What are you wearing for shoes?” Meera asks. “Whatever I feel like, probably not flats, most likely black, strappy heels that say ‘hello Mister’,” I reply. Just because I am not thrilled to meet Dr. Froggy, doesn’t mean my feet and manicure must suffer. “Great! I cannot wait to see you tonight!” Meera says and hangs-up.

I snap the phone shut --- little does Dr. Froggy know our date is about to be crashed by Harlem’s finest and their seafood seeking sidekick.