253. PREPPING FOR DESI NIECE AND HER PARENTS

"What kind of stuff does Desi Niece get into?” I ask and survey my apartment. Just yesterday I was thinking I have too much furniture. But today I am thinking thank goodness I have a queen sized bed, Aerobed and couch. Where else would three adults and a baby (Desi Niece is 11 months old) sleep for four three nights?

"The usual,” my brother replies. Okay, I don’t have kids; I am battling my inner demons if I want any, so how the heck would I know what “the usual” is? “Is she going to pull my books off the shelf and break my trinkets?” I ask. “Maybe, depends on her mood,” my brother replies. He is not joking. Desi Niece who I have not seen in nine months (during which time her parents have pierced her ears, which makes her look like the girl version of my brother), has about nine feet of personality stuffed into 18 pounds. Considering her short life, she is very willful and makes it clear when she is unhappy. I hope she is the kind of girl who grows up to be a self-advocate.

"Do I need to buy her any food?" I ask. "Well she doesn't have any teeth, so no," my brother replies. "She has teeth!" I argue. "Four teeth. She still drinks milk," he says somewhat bored, somewhat amusedm in a tone I miss. It's interesting actually, I am surprised by the small things I took for granted. Seeing Mom whenever I felt like it. My brother finishing my sentences and reading my mind. And if I can be honest, I am looking forward to spending time with “my people”. It’s tough to be single in New York. Well, scratch that. It is tough to be single in your 30s. Add New York and desi to it and you kinda want to hide under a rock. It will be nice to spend time with people who love me unconditionally, who don't require me to be "on".  

“She better not to put her fingers in the electric sockets, I don’t have those outlet plugs,” I warn. I will not be blamed for the accidental electrocution of Desi Niece. “Why? You did it and you’re fine,” my brother retorts. This is true. When I was about two years old my parents were buying a Ford and they gave me their keys to play with while they negotiated the car deal. Evidently I took a key and put it in the outlet and got quite the jolt. My brother argues I have never been the same. If only I could trace my own undoing back to that point in time!