After three days my brother and his family leave for Minnesota. It’s weird now that I am wandering around this small apartment, it feels hugely empty and lonely.
When I think drowning my sorrows and isolation in Sauvignon Blanc is a bad idea, I default to my other avoidance mechanism, napping. (See: I have SOME self-control). I take my phone into the bedroom and turn on the air conditioner. I pull a thin sheet over my body and flip open my phone and read and re-read Town and Country’s text.
What the hell is wrong with me that I cannot shake him or his impact on my life? I mean this a man who has repeatedly told me that he is NOT looking for a relationship. I have responded telling him that I am. And yet this, “I want you, I can’t see you, I’m going to ignore you for two months and come back,” goes on. Because I allow it. Even now, I KNOW KNOW KNOW I should delete these texts and ignore him. But then again, Town and Country does not seem to be someone who can be ignored.
Text to Town and Country: Hey, what’s up?
Immediately he texts back: How are you?
Text to Town and Country: Fine. My brother was here this weekend. How are you?
Text from Town and Country: Family is nice; did you have a good time?
Sigh. It is hard to be annoyed with him when he's being so flippin’ nice.
Text to Town and Country: Yes, we did. How are you?
Text from Town and Country: Very stressed.
Again with his work? I should have just napped.
Text from Town and Country: I have been thinking about you.
Ah yes, now I remember how I get sucked back into this emotional vortex.
Text to Town and Country: Really? Because you blew me off in two months ago.
When several minutes of silence go by, I wonder if I have pissed him off once and for all. I am sure I mentioned that Town and Country does not like to be challenged. To which I wonder why he wants to converse with me because I am all about pushing back. Just ask my parents. And maybe this is good; he’s finally mad at me and will stop reaching out.
Just as I snap the phone shut, Town and Country texts back: I’m sorry for that. Are you free this weekend?
Because I never learn I write back: Sure.
Upbeat desi woman outsources herself from Minnesota to Manhattan in search of love, and finds something more...
6 comments:
tut tut.. dont you leave hun?? :( well, I will be waiting to see how it goes ;)
Oh man, I've been ghost reading your blog for a few months now and now I'm inspired to start posting about my little woes of my husband search.
But I agree with Ammena, you should really try and stop txting him back. I know it is hard, because I have had my share of these type of men, the ones who expect you to drop everything for you when they want to see you, but otherwise have no use for you.
It's just so hard to leave them cuz they know how to make you feel like your the only woman they want...
Dear Adventurous Ammena ...
No. No I do not (sadly) learn. I am a full-on control freak who cannot her heart :(
I am fine while he's "ignoring me" doing this thing and when he comes back I become deer in the headlights. I of course have pondered why I do think and it shall all be revealed in due time :)
xo,
Desi Girl
Dear Amira ...
Ain't that the truth sista! On both accounts, blogging and boys. In the beginning I was blogging bc the stories were funny and then I kept doing it bc it was a release (bc I cannot afford a therapist!) and so many women and men can relate to human love pain.
And you hit it square on, why I don't stop texting him. The other issue I have (soon to be revealed) is that he is a nice, straight up person. My T&C mess is one of my own making! More on that I promise!
xo,
Desi Girl
NOOOO!
Dear My Courageous Life -
Oh yes ... DG is weak to his madness. How sad is that I KNOW he is an emotional monsoon in the making and I keep going back for more agony.
xo,
Desi Girl
Post a Comment