261. YOU’RE NOT THAT SPECIAL

“Hi Pinky, how are you?” Siobhan says. “Hi, Binky!” I squeal into the phone. We have pet names for each other. I have no idea how they came about, but I can say we were not drinking at the time. We might have been under the influence of a cheese plate, though.

“I’m good, how are you?” I ask. “Have you heard from ‘HIM’?” she asks. Big sigh, and then I respond with, “No. But it doesn’t matter. I am looking for a suitable man. This is why I have a date next week with Dr. Froggy.” “The over-weight guy?” Siobhan asks. “Well, yes,” I reply. “I don’t like him either,” she says. “He’s not that bad,” I say. “I think someone who isn’t honest about their appearance and thinks you won’t notice that he’s overweight and not average is indicative of a deeper issue. I mean look at Town and Country. Clearly he’s a man with issues,” Siobhan says. Had I known I would be talking to her about him tonight I would have bought some adult beverages. “Well, yes. Clearly Town and Country has issues. Don’t we all?” I ask.

“I don’t mean this to be mean. But you’re not special. A guy like Town and Country who is wealthy and successful in New York has tons of girls at his disposal. Model-hot girls. And I think you should remember that for self-preservation,” Siobhan says. “Well I don’t know him all that well, but maybe you’re right. I sometimes wonder if I am part of a rotation because he seems to reach out when I have almost gotten him out of my system which takes a few months.” “Or maybe he’s an alcoholic. They tend to act like this too,” Siobhan suggests.

“He’s no more an alcoholic than I am,” I counter. “And Meera has asked me on two different occasions if he’s married,” I say and laugh. “It’s not funny. You just said you don’t know him very well. He might be married. You never know,” she warns.

This is true, but Town and Country is two things, not married and did not take advantage of me when he could have.