Thursday, February 17, 2011


I fasten my seat belt. My phone is handy. Just in case Town and Country texts back before they shut the airplane door.

I may have mentioned this, but Town and Country doesn’t like to be challenged. Which makes him quite desi and traditional, something he told me early on. I suspect, given that his parents are older than mine, his mother dotes on his father more than mine. So, I presume that he won’t be in the mood to deal with a combative Indian woman. And I don’t plan on being any man’s Sita.

Text from Town and Country: Just checking to make sure you were okay.
Text from Desi Girl: Oh. Well. I am.
Text from Town and Country: Good. Are you free Friday?
Text from Desi Girl: For what? Like a date?
Text from Town and Country: Yes.(Hhhmm, date for him must be code for sex).
Text from Desi Girl: Can’t. I am going to Minnesota. What about next weekend? (Okay, what? Why did I: (a) lie (b) feel the need to suggest a future meeting and (c) not tell him about Dr. Froggy.)
Text from Town and Country: Sure next weekend. Have fun in Minne.
Text from Desi Girl: Will text you next week.
Text from Town and Country: Ok.

I'm sure you're thinking, Desi Girl is baked. But here is the thing. Town and Country does not what I want, yet my attraction for him is annoying uncontrollable. It’s true, Dr. Froggy is not as physically appealing, and his obsession with his money is kinda gauche. But he is interested in building a relationship and can text and call me on a regular basis. To date, I have never actually spoken to Town and Country on the phone. Additionally, I know plenty of people who have made arranged marriages work, so I feel confident I can make a relationship work with Dr. Froggy aka Mr. Right Enough. Sounds antiseptic, I know. But Dr. Froggy isn't perfect, either am I. Either is Town and Country. And maybe the time to be practical has arrived. Being a romantic only keeps me caught in the silky web of Town and Country.

If I can be vain and shallow for a moment, when it comes to Dr. Froggy and I, I am the more physically attractive one. But he is the one with the successful, thriving career. So I know, if this works out with Dr. Froggy, I will have to leave Manhattan. And yes, this is a big deal for me. I'm finally in a comfortable place with the City. I am used to no A train service on the weekends. I am okay knowing no one wants to visit me in the Heights. I lug heavy bags of groceries 10 blocks. I take my backpack to Target to make the schlepping less painful. I have a routine and friends. I am happy, but alone.

My true persona is that of a hall monitor (with a penchant for prosecco). But for once, I want to let loose, break the rules and not care about desi society’s expectations of women. I have been a good desi girl for SO long, that I want to act like a reckless man and have my last hurray, my last fling. Is that so wrong? Maybe. But at least I’m being honest.


Rea said...

This ,at least I am being honest, excuse makes me sick in my stomach.

My Courageous Life said...

Dear 101: I'm glad to know that these posts are all about experiences you have already lived through and survived and that you can now write about them in a reflective, honest and humorous light. Can we start a pool? I bet that you don't end up with either Dr. Froggy or T&C.


nk said...

T&C, as we all know by now, is instant gratification which implies lot of suffering when he ignores you once again. But, I CAN totally understand how he can make you weak in your knees and stop being reasonable.

Sunny said...

First of all, you have wrong idea about "good desi girls", they can be hall monitors but believe you me, they can be as reckless and as spontaneous as a character of any of Sex and the city. I can personal vouch for it. Being a true quintessential desi girl involves pushing the envelope, while seeming to remain stationary.
So if you are contemplating a little tryst, a little fling or little indulgence, that is a part of being a desi girl. Go for it, I would be disappointed if you didn't; and I also know that at later times, you will be disappointed that you didn't.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Rea -

Well I am being honest. I have spent a long time doing "the right thing" and sometimes I just dont wanna. My head tells me that I could have a nice and comfortable life with Dr. Froggy - but I am worried that it will be with adventure, and when you are dealing with really wealthy people, there is the expectation that you will fall into line with their drum bear - and I am worried after some time he won't engage me intellectually or emotionally.

So I do wish I had been a little something else to I had memories of who I was to sustain me.

Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear My Courageous Life -

Yes. I have survived and much more. I think the honest light was the hardest. I do humor as my release, it sugar coats my pain and let's me a con artist sometimes, mostly to myself.

And I know by being honest some people wont agree or like what I say, but I am being brutally honest, which I can tell you is not as easy it looks - but I think bc I write about past exp and can reflect - it does have a therapeutic effect. Thank Durga!

Can I take part in the pool? I bet I may win ;)

Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear NK -

He does, there is something about T&C ... that takes over and then when he goes back to his life I do feel cast aside. And I do not understand why I don't fixate on how shitty he can be - but the problem is he really is a nice guy. Ugh!

Maybe I should go back to dating hot white boys!

Desi Girl

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Sunny -

How I appreciate your comments. As I keep writing I go get down on myself, so it is nice to hear your perspective.

And yes I would like to have a tryst. Is that so bad? You are right, it is about pushing the envelope and remaining stationary, I really like this - which may be part of my issue. This requires subtly - which I dont so well in my desi life, but in my professional life, I am a great with this.

You are right - I will be disappointed if I am not true to myself.

Ms. 101