Thursday, March 24, 2011


It takes another day to pull myself out of my own blackness. It is not that I think my friends don’t care. It’s just that, I cannot seem to process what is happening and what impact and implications it has for us (my family). We all work in a company whose founder is literally immobile. I am sure this is kicking Dad’s spirits, too. Mom spends all day cooking Dad’s dinner, to spend all night tossing and turning on a hospital cot. I am worried about how his health will take a toll on hers. My brother and I aren’t really up for talking. And Minnesota is freaking cold this weeK.

When I finally have the bandwidth to process what is going on with Dad, I call Siobhan. “Hiiiii! What are you doing in that cold state, come home!” she gushes. I think I am stronger than I credit myself, because it is not until I hear her voice, a reminder of the life I now live, not the one I used to have here, do I finally crack and break down. In a panic between gasps of air I blurt out what has happened over the past few days. When I finish speaking and crying I hear Siobhan sigh so deeply that I realize I have bottled so much in for too long. Clearly, I don’t NEED a boyfriend, I need to let go and fall apart. I need to just let time find THE ONE. Bangalore Cousin once told me to stop being strong and let people in, let people help, let people care. So I do.

"Ugh, you are dealing with all that?" Siobhan asks.I sigh. "You need to come home, I am worried you are going to become really depressed, especially since we're all here in New York and can't be there for you. But look, Minnesota is known for good health care. I know he'll be fine."

A little while later I text Dr. Froggy and let him know that Dad's not well. I share some details. He texts back. "I hope they checked for TIA - hope he didn't have a stroke." I have to read and re-read the text a few times, debating if he was trying to be helpful, optimistic or is unable to emote. Ugh, I mean really? You are sort of dating someone, a someone you have introduced to your parents and all you can come up with up is, "Hope he didn't have a stroke." Well - yea, me too!


Adventurous Ammena said...

girl this dudes weird!!! you deserve better.. at least someone who knows when to say stupid things like that :( I pray your father gets better soon.

101 Bad Desi Dates said...

Dear Adventurous Ammena -

I thought that was a pretty callous thing to say too! I also think that even if you think those things you dont say them, or you find a way to say them with kindness.

More soon, I promise :)

Desi Girl
p.s. apologies for the delay. some days I only have enough time to post!